The Slayer
by Irish American 67
Summary: Summary inside
1. Chapter 1

The Slayer

**Summary: After defeating the First and destroying Sunnydale, Buffy is no longer needed as the one true Slayer due to Willow's spell, which caused all Potential Slayers around the world to become awakened. So, instead, Buffy seeks out a normal life away from Slaying, and a career that will allow her to use her skills and abilities without having to risk her life every night. After saving the life of a man in the alley, she finds herself donning leather and getting physical twice a week, as a professional Mixed Martial Artist. With her Slayer strength and speed, she remains undefeated until one match... Another masked fighter, calling herself "The Exorcist", somehow manages to beat Buffy in the cage match. The next week, Buffy challenges "The Exorcist" to a rematch, and upon beating the mysterious masked fighter, she comes face to face with one of the very reasons she had decide to leave her former life behind: Faith. All at once, she is forced to confront all of her decisions in leaving her life as the Slayer, including her feelings for the Dark Slayer.**

Prologue:

Everything changed when we won. After we beat the First, Giles and Xander worked together to build a new Watcher's Organization geared more towards actually _helping _Slayers instead of controlling them. Giles trained Xander and Dawn to be Watchers, and to train others to be Watchers as well. Willow worked with an English coven of witches to organize the witches worldwide in order to make them more active in assisting the Slayers as well. The witches decided that if they'd been more active all along, then maybe so many innocent Potentials wouldn't have died before we even figured out what was going on and had the chance to gather a few that remained. We might have beaten the First sooner, and casualties wouldn't have been so high.

As for me, with every Potential around the world awakened by Willow's spell, I could finally have the normal life I'd wanted all along. I was done. I left behind the life of a Slayer without ever looking back. I ran away from everything. I know it was a bad choice to leave the way I did, without telling anyone I was leaving, or where I was going. I know it now, have known it for a while now. But it's too late to change it now. Everyone I knew then has spread out, and I don't know where any of them are, or how to contact them. So, I do my best to forget.

I try to forget _everything_. Slaying. Demons. Vampires. Evil. But most of all, I try to forget about _her_. Faith.

It hit me hard when I realized the reason she was always able to get under my skin, the reason she could get to me, make me feel like a victim, it was all because I'm in love with her. That's why, when she betrayed us to the Mayor, I took it personally. It didn't feel like she betrayed us. It felt like she betrayed _me_. I love her. _Love_. Not _loved_, _love_. I haven't seen or spoken to her in five years, ever since right after we beat the First, and I'm still in love with her. I dream of her every night. After I left, I dreamed of us starting to trust each other. Almost building a friendship. But they started getting worse.

A year after I left, I dreamed of us kissing. It was soft and sweet, yet very passionate. And when I woke up, and realized it was just a dream, I cried for three hours, wishing I could take it all back, find her, tell her how I felt. But even then, it was too late.

After that, the dreams started getting worse and worse. Two years after I left, I dreamed we were training. We were pounding against each other, beating each other to a pulp, and sweating profusely. Then, I step wrong, and I slip in a puddle of sweat, ending up on my back. She was going in for another hit, but my feet slip under her, tripping her, and she ends up laying on top of me, our chests pressing into each other, and we stare into each other's eyes for the longest time. Finally, she leans down and kisses me, hungry.

After about a month, the dreams backed off for a while, and our dream selves went back to being just friends. Then, one year ago, they picked back up again. Worse than ever. I tingled when I woke up, still feeling the way she made love to me in my dreams. She was slow and gentle, proving it's real to her, not just some quick fuck. When I come, she kisses me to stifle my scream, and she stays gentle. Then, she says three simple words that jolt me awake, and leave me crying for hours again. Three words that bring back the pain I felt when I left. When I left her behind.

Anyway, I left. I lived out of my suitcase for about six months after I left my old life behind. I took work where I could find it, mostly odd jobs. Then, my luck changed.

I came across someone getting mugged in an alley, and even though I wasn't "the Chosen One" anymore, I still couldn't help but interfere. I sent the mugger packing, his metaphorical tail tucked between his legs, and the guy I saved was so grateful, he got me a job. Well, more of a job interview, but there was really no interview involved. Basically, he had me fight a cage match at a local fight club. He got a friend of his to be there at the match, and when I won, a knock-out in the first round, his friend gave me a job at his own fight club. I tried to run away from my life as a Slayer, but it turned out to be the perfect gimmick. I put on a leather outfit two nights a week: Monday and Friday nights, I knock some girl out, and I get paid. I'm kind of a local celebrity, but because a mask is part of my costume, no one knows who I really am except the owner of the fight club and my "agent", the guy I saved in the alley. And my friends, of course. Well, friend. Not plural. I keep mostly to myself, but it's nice to have someone to talk to.

Anyway, I needed the money at first, so I stuck around, and I just got used to it, so I never left, even once I was back on my feet. That was four and a half years ago...

Chapter 1:

"Aaaaaand heeere's your winner! The Chosen One! Theeee Slaaaaaaaayerrrrrrrrrrrr!" The MC shouts, announcing my win against this other girl. Just another girl who thought she'd try fighting the Club Champion. The _undefeated_ Club Champion. Meaning I've _never_ lost. Not since I started here at the club, four and a half years ago. I'm beginning to wonder why these girls still challenge me. I _always _win. Whether it's a KO in one of the first three rounds or the occasional towel-thrower-inner that surrenders when she realizes I'm just too strong. I can't be human with strength like this. And she's right, she just doesn't know it.

But this girl, Jannice Gurdy, she'd been undefeated for ten weeks. That's twenty matches. And just like that, I knock her out in the second round, and I don't even have a scratch on me. So, there she is, laying on the ground, knocked out cold, and all the guys in the audience, and even some girls, lean forward expectantly. What are they waiting for? My signature. My "agent" suggested that I come up with some kind of signature, something to keep me in the minds of the audience. Because going four and a half years undefeated wouldn't make them remember me. But, I gave in. I tried my best to come up with a signature, but nothing ever stuck. Finally, my "agent" caught me making out with another girl before the night's match, mainly because I was horny, seeing as I hadn't had sex since that last time with Spike, and he was dumbfounded.

It wasn't that I was trying to keep me being bisexual a secret from him, I just never thought it would be relevant. Anyway, so that became my signature. Every time I win my fight, I kiss the loser. That's what the audience is waiting for.

I'm hot. I'm sweaty. The lights in this club, coupled with the intense fighting, the massive amounts of body heat, and even just the arousal of watching another woman get so physical, the way her body moves, it all makes the club feel a hundred degrees hotter than it actually is. I remember how Faith used to say that Slaying made her horny. I said it made me want yogurt. Faith thought that that was code for horny, because I was just one of those innocent types of girls, but I really did crave yogurt after Slaying. But after hanging out and patrolling with Faith, it started getting to me the same way it got to her, because I'd watch her fight the vampires, and it turned me on.

Now, fighting these other women twice a week gets me excited in the same way, and it fuels the raw hotness when I kiss them after beating them. I get turned on, and then I collect my paycheck for the night, and make a beeline for my home. My bedroom, where I strip down, reach into my bedside drawer and pull out my new best friend, and I take care of my "post-fight hornies".

I look down at Jannice. Out cold on the floor. The audience is silent, waiting for my signature exit. I sigh. I drop slowly to one knee, my silver crucifix pendant swaying with my movements. My chest is rising and falling visibly. My other knee hits the ground. I can almost hear the beads of sweat hitting the floor as they fall from the tip of my nose, or my chin. I start to lean over, and everyone in the crowd breathes in. They know what's coming. They expect it. They wait for it. They want it.

My face is inches from hers. I place my right hand on her chest, just between her breasts. My sweat beads down my chest, disappearing into my outfit in the space between my breasts. Her body is slick from the fight, the struggle to try and get the upper hand on me. Her futile attempts to beat me. I could've beaten her in fifteen seconds flat, but I need a way to vent my physical tension, so I always toy with them, make it look like I'm struggling to beat them,when really, I'm struggling to hold back, so I don't really hurt them, and so it lasts as long as possible. I love my job, I really do. It allows me to get physical, and use my instincts and training, while still having a normal life.

I breathe out, and she's starting to come too. She opens her eyes slightly and sees me hovering over her. She opens her mouth to gasp, and that's when I strike.

My lips meet hers, and I let out a moan as my tongue snakes into her mouth, exploring her aggressively. She's too tired and sore and shocked to try and fight back.

Finally, I pull back, panting for breath through my arousal, and the crowd's roars are deafening.

* * *

><p><em>My nails are digging into her back, drawing blood, and she hisses in a breath. It hurts, but I know she's loving every second of it. I'm beyond screaming now, my voice stopped working ten minutes ago. I can't make a sound. I'm physically incapable of making any noise other than the occasional shuddering breath. She moans, loving the scratches, knowing that it's <em>her_ that's doing this to me, driving me to do it as her fingers slide in and out. Every thrust of hers hits that small bundle of nerves deep inside me, causing dots to appear in my eyes, and my body to shake uncontrollably._

_ Her wet, hot sex is sliding up and down on my hip, the slick, glistening wetness of it arousing me, furthering my pleasure, driving me to new heights. Finally, after ten long, sweet, yet somehow, far too short, minutes, I come. My inner muscles clench down on her three digits, and she continues her long, slow thrusts. My body is stiff, and I can't breath. She's holding me to her, steadying me as I come down. Our bodies are drenched with sweat, we're exhausted, and we're both breathing so hard. Our lips crash together as she lays me back down, then falls to my side. We pull apart, gasping. She pulls the covers back over us, and holds me close, like she's still afraid I'll leave her._

_ She looks me in the eye and says something that I know is the truth. I can see it in her eyes. i can feel it in the way her heart is beating a thousand times a second, in the way she makes love to me night after night. I can hear it in the way she's breathing. I don't know what it is, but I jus get this feeling from it that makes me _feel_ the truth in her words. I can see the truth in the tears rolling down her face. Tears of joy, and fear._

_ "I love you." Faith says to me._

* * *

><p>I wake up. I don't sit up or open my eyes, I just lay in bed, trying desperately to get the dream out of my head, fighting back the tears. I don't want it to be just a dream. I want it to be real so bad. Not just because I was having sex with Faith, but because I could actually <em>feel<em> the love. It was real, to both of us. And if it had had anything to do with an impending apocalypse, I'd have sworn it was a Slayer dream, like Faith was having the same dream as I was, and that it was really her that was making love to me, and not just some figment of my imagination. Some very powerful figment of my imagination.

I sit up after a while, knowing I can't stay in bed all day. I have plans for the day. I can feel my sheets drenched. The dream was so real. I was sweating in my sleep, enough to nearly take a bath, and I can actually smell sex in the air. And with that, I realize that the dream really _had_ affected me. Like it had actually happened, even though that was impossible. Faith is... gone. Or I am, anyway. I left her and everyone else behind years ago. Now I really need to wash these sheets. I actually came in my sleep. That's a first. That _never_ happened. But this dream was _so real_. I wipe my tears away and use the sheet to wipe myself off between my legs, and I get out of bed.

I strip my bed and throw my sheets and blankets into the washing machine, but I don't start it yet. I need a shower first.

I stand under the cold water for ten minutes. I'm shivering, but the heat from that dream doesn't fade or settle. I'm really shaken up at how _real_ it was to me. It was almost like she was actually_ here_, doing that stuff to me. I can still feel it. My knees are still a bit weak from it. I've never been affected by a dream this way before. Finally, I give up. I turn the water off and dry myself off, hugging the towel around me for warmth. I look in the mirror, and my lips are starting to turn slightly blue.

Luckily, I'm still a Slayer, even if I don't Slay anymore, so the cold fades quickly, and I'm back to normal before I'm done getting dressed. I start the washing machine on my way out the front door.

"Hey, Cara." I say to my friend with a smile as I walk up to her in the coffee shop.

"Uh-oh." She says instantly.

"What?" I ask her, thoroughly confused by her reaction.

"You dreamed about her again, didn't you?" She asks, concernedly. I wonder how the hell she does that? She's like a sex dream radar. She can always tell when I dreamed about Faith during the night. So, I ask her. "It's a gift. I_ know_ you, Buffy. So? Spill."

I sigh in defeat. I've long since given up on trying to hide anything like this from Cara. "It's really nothing new. Same as usual lately." She glares at me when I stop, urging me to continue. I sigh again. "We're having sex. I'm bloodying her back up, scratching her, and I have literally the most intense orgasm I've ever had. Better than the last one she gave me in my dream."

"So... nothing unusual about it?"

"Not really... Except..."

"I knew it! What happened?!" She's squirming with excitement. Cara is completely straight, never even wanted to _experiment_ with other girls in college. But, she's very comfortable around me, and I'm comfortable around her, so she's actually pretty active in my love life, or my lack thereof.

"The dream... This time... It may have affected me... outside of the dream..."

"Oh... my... god." She says slowly as it registers what I'm saying. I wince, knowing my point has gotten across. "You _came_ in your sleep?!" She asks, accusingly.

"Shh!" I hush her forcefully. "I don't think the people in _Japan_ heard you!"

"Damn. Maybe I should try saying it louder then." She teases, but I glare at her anyway.

"Look, just keep it down, will you?!"

"Sorry. So... how long were you under the cold water this time?"

"Can we _please_ change the subject?" I plead with her. "I'm trying to forget about her, okay?"

"Hon, you've been trying to forget her for five years. It's not working. Face it, Buffy, you're in love with her. That's not just going to go away because you're trying to ignore it." She sips her coffee as we sit in silence.

I slump backwards in my seat. "I know." I groan. "I just... I wish I could make it _stop_. I want it to go away. It _hurts_."

She shoots me a look of sympathy. "I know, sweetie." She hesitates before she continues. Then, with a deep breath, "Maybe... Maybe you should try and track her down. Take a vacation from work or something, if they'll let you do that, and find her. Tell her how you feel, apologize for leaving... Take a chance with her."

"No." I say without even thinking about it. "I have a good life here. I love my life here. I'm not giving that up."

"Who said anything about giving it up?"

"If I track her down, I'll have to give it all up. You don't understand, Cara, if I try to find her, or my sister, or any of my old friends, I'll get roped back into my old life, and I don't want that. I love my new life. I love my new job. It pays well, and I get to vent my natural aggression in a way that won't get me arrested. I have a great friend, the club takes care of me, and I don't have to worry about my old life catching up with me."

"My god! You are so fucking stubborn!" She says incredulously. "She's going to haunt you for the rest of your life with that question "What if?" and you're just going to take it like a bitch! Take my advice! Find her! Even if she rejects you, you'll know the answer to that question, and you can get on with your life! Yeah, it'll hurt like a mother, but you'll get over that, and you'll finally be able to find someone new!"

We sit in an uncomfortable silence for the longest time, drinking our coffee. Until my cup is empty, that is, and I can't avoid speaking any longer.

"Look... it's been five years. Even if I _did_ try to find her, I wouldn't even know where to begin."

"Two letters for you, hon: "P" and "I"."

"Pi? What does that have to do with anything? I _hate_ math!"

"No, not "pi"." She laughs. ""PI". Private Investigator. Hire one, and have them to the tracking down for you. Then, you show up on her doorstep and sweep her off her feet."

"She's not the type to get swept off her feet." I explain, and she groans in frustration.

"Fine! Then... I don't know, just do something to win her over."

"Like what?"

"Well, for starters, I'd try _not_ stabbing her in the gut with her own knife."

It's my turn to groan. Yes, Cara knows about that. And she knows about Faith's past as a killer. And she knows about Faith going to prison, then escaping, and trying for redemption. And most of all, she knows all about me being a Slayer. She knows the whole story, and she's cool with it.

"Trust me, Buffy! You'll thank me for forcing you into this later."

"You act like there's no way this won't all work out perfectly, and that she'll fall madly in love with me."

"What's not to love?"

"Let's see, I stabbed her, put her in a coma, kicked her ass on _numerous_ occasions, and didn't even visit her in prison. And on top of all that, just when we're finally starting to build a friendship together that's shaky at best, I abandon her and everyone else I've ever known." I say she's cool with the whole supernatural bits of my past, but it's more like she's obsessed with it. Excuse me, _fascinated_.

"Okay, good point. I can see how that might piss some people off. But from what you've told me, she's done a lot of bad shit to you, too. Tried to frame you for a murder _she_ committed, killed another person, switched bodies with you and tried to take over your life, leaving you to take the fall for everything she's ever done, slept with your boyfriend, and tried to kill you and everyone you cared about. And yet, you still love her."

I groan again. "I know. I'm fucked up in the head."

She laughs at that. "Yeah, you really are. But, that's what love does to people."

"Speaking of which... How'd it go with Mr. Right?" I ask, eager to change the subject.

"Ugh... Mr. _Wrong_ you mean. Long story short, he brought me roses, took me to a three hour long chick flick, then we went out for Chinese food."

"He _didn't_!" I say sarcastically. But the sarcasm is lost on her.

"I know! My profile _clearly_ says that I'm allergic to roses, I _hate_ Chinese food, and I only watch chick flicks with my girl friends. Any other time, and it better be action, comedy, or horror. God, don't guys even pay attention to online profiles anymore."

"Only the pictures of yourself. They see a picture of a woman, think "Oh! Breasts!" and click like."

She laughs out loud. "Sounds about right to me!"

"Yup." I agree, smiling.

"So. You gonna hire that PI?" She asks.

I rest my head on my arms.

"Yeah, you only _thought_ you'd changed the subject, huh?" She teases me.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

The crowd roars as I enter the cage, wearing my usual get-up. From head to toe, I'm decked out in black shining leather. A red crucifix adorned my chest, with the center of it right between my breasts. The same crucifix was sported on the sides of each of my boots. I'm wearing a black mask around my eyes that comes down my cheeks like vampire fangs.

"Now entering the cage... The Club Champion... The Chosen One... The Undefeated... Theeeeeee SLAAAAAAAAAYYYYERRRRRRRRRRR!" The MC shouts into the microphone, his voice blaring out into the club. I raise my arms over my head, encouraging more cheers.

Then, the crowd dies down a bit as another figure approaches the cave from the other direction. My opponent for the night.

I look at her, and something about her causes... I don't know, some kind of feeling in me. A tingle. Not like I'm near a vampire. This feels like something more subtle. I push those thoughts to the side, though. I can't afford to be distracted. But, somehow, I can tell she's feeling them, too. Especially when she stops in her tracks and stares at me in disbelief, then shakes her head, obviously doing what I'm doing and ignoring those tingles for now.

"And in the other corner..." The MC continues, like nothing happened. Then again, to him, and all the other oblivious mortals, nothing _did_ happen. Just to me and the girl in leather in front of me. "In her debut match... The Challenger... Theeeeee Exorcist!" The Announcer seems slightly less enthusiastic about her than about me. Then again, she's a newbie, and I'm the undefeated champion.

The crowd is cheering, but not nearly as loudly as they did for me. It was more like they are cheering to see the challenger get her ass handed to her. Which is what's about to happen.

A ring of the bell prompts my opponent to step forward quickly and send in a powerful jab with her left fist that catches me in the shoulder and makes my right arm go numb.

_Whoa. _I think to myself. _What the hell?_ She's faster, and much, much stronger than my normal opponents. If there was any kind of vampire activity at all in this town, I'd say that a Slayer got assigned to fight them off here, and that I'm fighting her now. She seems fast and strong enough to be a Slayer. But there's only the occasional vamp. Meaning one every two months or so. Not worrisome enough to warrant sending a Slayer here. But... There was that tingle again. As soon as she follows through with another jab, catching me in the jaw, the tingle spikes, and both of us are left stunned for a moment.

I grin. This girl's actually going to make me _work_ for my win. I haven't had a fight with something that could actually fight back effectively since I left my life as the Slayer behind. Even the occasional vamp has been mediocre at best. We both stand still, taking each other in. She's looking at me, like she's searching for something. I look her over as well.

When she entered the cage, she'd been wearing a long, black robe that nearly dragged the floor, but she took that off as soon as she was ready to fight. Now, she's got on a red leather two-piece body suit similar to mine. Her stomach is exposed, and she's wearing a red mask that completely covers the top half of her head, hiding her hair. She's showing an enormous amount of cleavage, and her pants legs were nearly shredded around the thighs, like she'd actually fought some demon with razor sharp claws. On each wrist, she's wearing black cords with small silver crucifixes attached.

But I pay no mind really to what she's wearing. There's something about the way she held herself. Her confident, almost cocky, way of standing, and the directness of her attacks, it seemed familiar to me, but I couldn't place it.

I'm out of time to think, though, because she decides she's done looking me over, and a roundhouse kick that would have nearly cut any normal human in half sends me flying into the cage, and I have to catch my breath fora second before I manage to catch her left fist just before it connected with my face, then send my right fist into her gut.

She stumbles back, but recovers quickly, and I'm completely convinced that she's not human. She has to be a Slayer. It's the only thing that explains the tingles and how she seems able to hold her own against me.

She attacks again, a crescent kick coming in from my left that I just manage to deflect with my right arm, stepping to the outside to her kick, and I throw a roundhouse kick with my left leg to her stomach. She quickly uses her hands to throw my leg back before my kick can connect, then brings her right fist up, catching me in the chin, and a side kick sends me sprawling. Three punches get me in the gut before I can react, and I push her away, then plow into her midsection, pinning her up against the cage and slamming my shoulder into her repeatedly. She grabs my head and slams it into the cage when I pull back to slam into her again, and I stumble backwards, disoriented.

The Exorcist picks me up by my throat and slams me down onto the floor, and I lose my breath. She kicks me in the gut, and my body slides to the edge of the cage, up against the wall. She puts her hands on the cage above me and repeatedly kicks me in the gut.

How am I getting beat this badly? Granted, I'm out of practice when it comes to _real_ fights... Like I said, even the vamps, which are few and far between, are weak. It's like I'm fighting toddlers, for all the damage they can do to me. But even a rookie Slayer shouldn't be able to do _this_ to me. I feel like _I'm_ the mortal, and this girl is me. It's shaking me up. I feel weak.

I black out for what feels like only a second, but when I come too, my agent is crouching next to me, trying to get me to wake up.

"Ungh?" I grunt as I try to sit up, but I hurt. "AH!" I nearly scream, but I stifle it as pain shoots down my entire body with just the smallest movements.

"Anne?" That's the name I gave my agent when I was getting to know him. I've always liked that name. "Anne, what happened?" He sounds both worried and furious.

"Idonnow." I groan.

"What?"

"Idunno." I try again.

"One more time."

"I... don't... know..." I say slowly. "She's... strong..."

"I'll say. She didn't just beat you, she nearly _destroyed_ you. How could she do that? Was she on steroids or something? I've never seen anyone as strong as you, and somehow, she seemed stronger."

I sit up, despite the pain, and I shed a tear or two in the process. The crowd has cleared out already, but The Exorcist is standing by a doorway, talking to someone. Probably her own agent.

She sees me up, and then she's gone. It's like she was trying to get away from me without me seeing her.

"Who is she?" I ask.

"Who?"

"My opponent. The one that beat me. What's her name?"

"Called herself Dianna when she was signing up. Don't know if that's her real name, though."

"Hmm... I don't know any Dianna's."

"What? Why? Do you know her."

"Not if her name really is Dianna. But she... The way she moved... The way she fought... She seems so... familiar. I feel like I should know her."

"Well, I can find her and set up a meeting or something, if you like."

"No. Just... Schedule a rematch."

"What?"

"Schedule a rematch with her. Something tells me a meeting won't do any good with her. I need to fight her again. If I know her, then I'll figure out who she is by fighting her."

"Listen, Anne-"

"No. Whatever you're going to say, don't. Schedule a rematch. Tomorrow night."

"Tomorrow?!" He exclaims incredulously. "But your injuries-!"

"Aren't as bad as you think. I'll be fine. I just need to sleep. I didn't say I needed to beat her. I just need to fight her again. If I lose, I lose. But I need to fight her. I'll pay more attention to her this time. I _have_ to know her. There's... There's something about her..."

"So that's what this is about? You're looking to get laid?" My agent scoffs, and rolls his eyes.

"No... Yes... That's not the whole reason. That's not even the main reason. Sure, if she's willing, I'll sleep with her, once I find out who she is. I do need to get some. I'm wound up way too tight. I need to release some tension. But really, I just... I feel like I'm going to go crazy if I don't get to know her. Help me?"

After a few minutes of silence, he nods.

"Alright, Anne. I'll get you your rematch."

"Thanks, Scott." That's my agent's name.

Scott nods. "Sure thing. Just try not to overdo it tomorrow. If it gets too bad in there, throw in the towel. Promise me you won't get killed."

"I promise." I smile reassuringly. The pain is already fading. Any other injuries I have will be gone by tomorrow. As long as there's no broken bones, by tomorrow, it'll be like nothing ever happened. Perks of being a Slayer.

I have a feeling I know who she is. No. It's more than a feeling. But I don't believe it. I can't believe it. It just can't be true. It doesn't make sense. What are the odds that _she'd_ be here?

_I'm screaming, my cries of pleasure drowning out all other sounds, and probably keeping the neighbors up. And my neighbors' neighbors. our sweat has created almost a pool on my bed, and I'm holding onto her for dear life, afraid that this is a dream. It has to be a dream. This can't be happening. I can't let this dream end._

_ Faith pulls back from my neck, her eyes nearly completely black with her desire for me, and she throws her head back, groaning as she reaches her second orgasm, and she grinds against me even harder. Her hot, sweaty body is so beautiful as it shakes with her burning climax._

_ I feel a tugging in my core, a pulsing, but my own orgasm is unfelt as I watch her slowly come down from her high, and the sight is enough to arouse me even further than I was before._

_ She catches her breath and smiles at me. Her eyes grow darker, and she starts sliding down my body, trailing kisses across my skin, never letting her eyes leave mine. My legs wrap around her head as a reflex when I feel her hot, humid breath on my throbbing clit._

_ "I love you." She whispers, and the next sound heard is my cry of delight as her lips, then her tongue, connects with my clit, and I'm hovering, weightless. Only she is anchoring me to this world. Nothing is real, everything is Faith. My world revolves around her as her tongue darts in and out of my pussy. My fingers grip her hair in a vice, and my legs are squeezing her head tight enough to crush a mortal's head. She flicks her tongue in and out harder and faster, and sucks on my clit._

_ My walls tigthen around her tongue, and I can only hear my blood rushing through my head as I reach the most powerful orgasm I've ever had. It lasts a long time, and when the spots finally recede from my vision, she's kissing me. I can taste myself on her tongue as it entwines with my own. My legs wrap around her waist, refusing to let her get even an inch away from me._

_ "I love you." She says again, and continues to kiss me. _

_ For the first time in any dream I've ever had, I'm the one to pull away now, and this time, _I_ whisper three words to her. This time, it's _my_ fault the dream ends as I say "I love you."_

"Faith." I groan as I sit up in bed. Sweat is dripping off of me, just like last night, and I can tell right away that tonight's dream had the same effects on me as last nights, but much more powerful.

As I collect myself, catching my breath, I look down at the woman beside me. I picked her up at a bar last night after I left the club. Brought her back to my place, and we had a lot of fun. I had been relaxed afterwards, the tension in my body having almost completely faded after going so long without having sex. But now, after having another dream about making love with Faith, the tension is back. All of it. And now, it's even worse. I can still feel my insides clenching up in the dream, and can still taste the three words rolling off my tongue. I wipe my tears away. The disappointment of it being just a dream is almost too much, but I'm almost certain that I know who The Exorcist is. And that's the only reason I get up out of bed now.

"Hmm?" The girl on my bed moans as I shake her awake.

"Hey, you need to leave." I say bluntly as she stirs.

"Five more minutes." She says, trying to get back to sleep.

"No. You need to leave now. I need to go."

Her hand finds the puddle of my juice on my side of the bed, and she smiles.

"Damn. I'm good." She says, finally sitting up. She brings her fingers to her lips and sucks the juice off of them, like she thinks that the sight is going to seduce me and drag me back to bed. I stand there, glaring at her.

I let her think that she was the reason behind the puddle, but I'm not giving in.

"Come on. Get up, get dressed, and get gone. I've got places to be.

"Do you treat all your dates this way?" She asks angrily.

"No. Only the ones that aren't actually my dates."

"So what, you just _used _me?"

I laugh. "Take it as that if you want. The irony is, I used to be where you're standing. Kind of. But that's a long story that I'm not going to share with some girl I picked up in a bar. Look, I'm sorry if this offends you, but you and I? One time thing. You helped me scratch an itch, and I'm grateful, but that's as far as our "relationship" goes. Capiché?"

She growls angrily, but gets her clothes on and slams the front door behind her as she leaves.

_That could have gone better._

I strip my bed again and get the sheets in the washer. I don't bother showering, I'm just going to the gym to work out, anyway, so all this sweat on my body is going to be coming back. There's no point. So, I get dressed and head for the gym. I need to try and get back into shape by tonight. If I wasn't a Slayer, there'd be no way in hell that just working out at the gym would get me ready. But, since I am a Slayer, even if I don't slay anymore, I should do fine. I hope.

"So what happened last night?" Cara asks as I join her at the coffee shop after left the gym. "You didn't just get beat,which would be unusual enough, you totally got your ass _handed_ to you. On a silver, no, wait, _gold_ platter!"

"Yeah." I agree. "I know."

"I mean, was that girl a demon or something?"

"Or something." I confirm. "I... I think she's a Slayer."

"Wait, you mean, like _you_ kind of Slayer? Like, "one girl in all the world" type of thing?"

"Yeah. Remember how I told you I died for about two minutes, but was brought back by my friend Xander with CPR?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, apparently, I wasn't dead long enough to affect my chances of being brought back, or my powers, but it was enough to call the next girl. Her name was Kendra."

"Wait, you mean your friend, Kendra? The one that died?"

"Yeah. She was killed by a vampire. And since she was the _official_ Slayer, she carried the line, which meant that her death called the next Slayer. Faith."

"Well, that explains how you're a Slayer and Faith is a Slayer. But what about this girl that just kicked your ass?"

"Well, a few years ago, long before you met me, my friend Willow cast this spell that awakened ALL Slayers around the world. Anyone who would ever have become a Slayer if it came down to her turn has their powers. Which means that now there are like _thousands_ if not _tens of thousands_ of Slayers all around the world."

Cara whistled. "Damn."

"Yeah. But... I'm out of practice with fighting, so..."

"Wait, how can you be out of practice? You literally make a living out of fighting."

"Yeah, but I'm used to fighting humans. Regular humans. Vampires, demons, and Slayers all have superhuman strength, speed, healing, and instincts. My powers have dulled because I'm always holding back so I don't really hurt somebody. So, fighting humans is like fighting a rubber blowup doll in slow motion. Since that's what I'm used to now, fighting an even half-decent vampire, demon, or even a _rookie_ Slayer would be much more difficult for me. I could still beat them, but it would be harder. Now, a Slayer with some real experience, like the ones that survived Battle Sunnydale, the battle where we fought that army of übervamps, those guys would be almost impossible for me to fight. Especially if that Slayer with real experience just so happened to be the second oldest Slayer in existence."

"Wait, that chick that beat you up was _Faith_?"

"I don't know. Not for certain, anyway. But I think it might have been."

"How do you know? Did you, like, read her mind or something?"

I laugh. "No. Can't do that, I'm afraid. Well, not anymore. But that's a different story. Tell you later."

"Um... okay? So how do you know it's Faith?"

"Like I said, I don't. Not for certain. I just have a feeling. It was the way she stood. The way she fought. She seemed confident, and maybe a it cocky. Her attacks were direct and to the point. Simple, but powerful. Plus, she knew every move I made. Like she was expecting them to come exactly like I did. So, either she knew how _I_ fight, or she's so skilled at fighting that she knew how to _influence_ how I'd counterattack. Faith fits both of those. Faith knows how I fight better than anyone, and she's always been kind of a Slayer prodigy. She picked up on everything a lot faster than I ever did. Some say it was out of necessity, because she was on her own, but it was also the raw natural talent she has. She's always been pretty good at influencing her enemies to attack just the way she wanted them to. It even worked most of the time on me. And when it didn't work, she still knows how I fight, so she could still counter easily."

"Then how did you beat her?"

"I didn't, remember?"

"No, I mean just before you stabbed her. How did you beat her?"

I fall silent as I start thinking. _How _did_ I beat her? She was always much more skilled than me. She could've easily killed me. She was always stronger and had a surprizingly strategic mind when it came to one on one combat. I was faster, but she's always been able to counteract my speed before. So how did I beat her?_

Then, the answer came to me. "I got lucky. That's all. I just got lucky."

"No, it had to be more than that."

I shake my head. "No. That's all. I just got lucky. You know, there's a reason Slayers don't make it very far in terms of age. There are millions of vampires in the world, and normally, only one Slayer. An old vampire friend of mine, the one I told you about with the chip in his head? He killed two Slayers himself before he changed sides and got that chip. I asked him how he did it. The way he explained it was that it doesn't come down to who's better in the end: the vampire or the Slayer. A newlydead vampire has as much chance to kill a Slayer as a vampire that's been around for hundreds of years, getting stronger and stronger. A vampire that hasn't fed in years has as much chance to kill a Slayer as the Slayer does of killing it. The only thing that matters is luck. All a vampire needs to kill a Slayer, whether it's strong or weak, smart or stupid, all a vampire needs is one good night. One moment of luck, and they're sinking their fangs into the one thing that all monsters are afraid of. That's the way it was for me and Faith. She was better than me. I had adrenaline on my side, but so did she. I had more experience, but she was stronger. I had never beaten her before when we sparred. But that time, I won. And the only reason I won... The only reason I'm not dead right now... Is because I got lucky. That's all it was. Pure, dumb luck. Whether it was good luck or bad luck, I don't know. I won the fight... I saved the day again... but at the time, it cost meone of my best friends. The only person who understood me. I nearly killed her.

"I guess I can say it was good luck, because she didn't die. Because she survived, and she ended up waking up from her coma. Because eventually, we started building our friendship again. But it was bad luck, too. Because, even though we started getting along, started building a friendship, it would've failed. We can't be friends. It can't work. Because I can't settle for being her friend. The only way I'll ever be happy around her is if we're together. The bad luck is that we can't be friends because I'm in love with her. And I can't have her. I don't think so, anyway. We have too much bad history. There's no way she can love me." I tear up and let the tears fall.

"Oh, hon. There's no way she can't be in love with you. If she knows youhalf as well as I do, and has even the slightest chance of being gay or bisexual, there's no way she's going to be content being your friend, and there's no way she can stand being apart from you. I truly believe that she's every bit as in love with you as you are with her. I mean, what about these dreams you've been having? Didn't you say that you and she used to share dreams or something?"

"Yeah, Slayer dreams. Dreams that warned us about something big about to happen. Not... Not sex dreams."

"But what if you_ are_ sharing these dreams? What if you two are somehow having sex in your dreams? That would explain why you... you know..."

I sigh. "Yes, it would. But what are the chances that that's what's going on?"

Cara shrugged. "Don't know. But hey, you know, here I am, encouraging you to pursue this girl, and I don't really know anything about her, other than what you've told me."

"Well, you know everything I know. She never was one for talking about her past, or her feelings. She liked talking about some very... interesting things that happened while she was an active Slayer, but nothing really... personal."

"Oh. Well... what does she look like?"

"I don't know about now. She might have changed since the last time I saw her. But... that last image of her is still burned into my mind. I'll never forget it. God, she was so beautiful. She had long, wavy, dark brown hair. At night, it was almost black. She had amazingly gorgeous chocolate colored eyes. She was tall, and kind of pale. She had an affinity for leather and denim jackets, plus dark skinny jeans and low-cut v-neck shirts."

"Damn. I'm straight, but I think if I ever met her, she'd turn me." Cara joked, but I didn't laugh.

"She turned me." I admit, and Cara's eyes popped out of her head. "I wasn't always gay, you know. I used to be very much about boys. But, I didn't have much luck there. So... when I met Faith... I guess she turned me. I went gay because of her. Because I fell in love with her. Now, just thinking about having sex with a guy is a major turn off because I can't really think about sleeping with anyone but Faith now."

"Holy shit. I better watch myself, then, when I meet this chick."

"You probably won't ever meet her. If I'm wrong, and this girl that beat me up last night isn't Faith, then chances are, neither of us will ever see her again."

"Oh, I think there's a good chance we'll see her soon." Cara is looking past me. I turn to look at what sh's looking at, but then she inhales sharply, and I assume that whatever it was is gone now, because I don't see anything but an ever-growing line at the counter.

"What?" I ask her, turning back to face my friend.

"Okay, you said dark brown, almost black hair, chocolate colored eyes, and an affinity for leather jackets, right?"

"Yeah? Why?" My heart skips a beat as I guess what, or rather, who, she saw.

"There she is! Is that her?" Cara asks, pointing. My head whips around and I see her. Kennedy. Not Faith. Kennedy. My heart sinks as I realize it's not Faith.

"No. But I do know her. That's Kennedy. Another Slayer. Now that I think about it, it could have been Kennedy under that mask last night. She was always pretty cocky, too. And Faith played a great part in her training, so she's really good at fighting, too. Faith is kind of pale. But it just makes her that much more-"

"Buffy?" I whip around to see Kennedy right behind me, staring at me in disbelief. "Oh my god. It _is_ you!"

"Oh. Hi, Ken... What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you, actually."

"What?"

"Well... Ever since you disappeared, Giles has been having Slayers all around the world keeping an eye out for you. Some of us he actually sends out _looking_ for you, trying to find you."

"Oh... Giles has, huh?"

"Yeah. Some of the girls who actually knew you before you left, like me, go out and investigate any signs of Slayer activity to see if it might be you. If it isn't, then we take the Slayer back to Slayer Central for training."

"Well... You found me... What are you supposed to do now?"

"We're supposed to call it in. Signal Giles at headquarters that you've been found."

"Then what? They run in, guns blazing, ready to tranq me and steal me away to headquarters?"

Kennedy laughs. "No. We're supposed to rescue you from whoever kidnaped you and is holding you hostage. But, from the looks of this sitch, doesn't look like you're exactly being held captive against your will." She grows serious. "So. I take it you didn't "disappear". You ran away, didn't you?"

I nod.

"Why? I mean, you were always the responsible one. This is your _destiny,_ remember? No matter how tough things got, you never quit being the Slayer!"

"That's because I couldn't quit. Because there was only one Slayer, until Kendra, then Faith came along. But even two Slayers... That wasn't enough to draw the vampires away from me. Especially with Faith in prison. But now... Now there are thousands of Slayers. Plenty enough for a few of them to gounnoticed. By both the bad guys _and_ the good guys. I have a nice, _normal_ life now. I have a _normal_ house, a _normal_ job, _normal_ friends, and I don't have to fight monsters, because there are almost _never_ any real monsters here. Here is far enough away from any Hellmouths that vampires, demons, evil politicians, Hellgods, cyborgs, witches on a power trip, and supernerds pass this place by without a second look. I'm safe here, and I can have a normal life. And I'd appreciate it if you could keep it that way. Send in whatever signal you need to that says "Nope, no Buffy here!" Please. As a friend. Do this for me."

Kennedy sighs. I know I've won, so I turn back to Cara, who's rolling her eyes at me.

"You know, Faith has been riding our asses pretty hard, trying to find you."

I freeze.

"Yeah. Honestly, it's kind of annoying, the way she's so desperate to find you. I mean, yeah, you're our friend and all, but seriously, you'd think you two were _married_ or something."

Cara smiles victoriosly. Her look at me just _screams_ "I told you so!"

"Yeah?" I ask, putting on a mask of nonchalance.

"Yeah. My point is, if she finds out that I know where you are, and didn't tell anyone, I'll get the wrong end of a stake. She's going to be super pissed."

"She'll deal." Now Cara's look says "you're so unbelievable!"

"She won't have to. I'm going to call it in."

I turn back around. "What?!" I exclaim.

"Sorry, Buffy. But I'm kid of pissed right now, because for the past _five years_ Giles, Faith, Willow, Xander, and Dawn have been riding everyone's asses trying to find you, stopping just short of threatening decapitation to anyone who _doesn't_ find you, and here _you_ are, sitting around doing nothing, relaxing, ignoring the problems of the world. So I'm pissed, and I'm not going to take a chance on an earlier death than I'm already going to have due to vampires because I found you and didn't say anything. I'm going to call this in. Way I see it, you can stay in town, let them find you, and explain to _everyone_ what you've been doing for the last five years if it wasn't lying in a grave or trying to escape from some ultra-powerful holding cellor something. Or, you can take this as a warning, and skip town before they get here. You should have about a day before they get here."

With that, Kennedy walks away, and I sink in my chair.

"Well? What are you going to do?" Cara asks.

"Doesn't matter what I do. Now that they've found me, even if I run, they'll be able to follow me. They'll find me, and I'll get _sucked_ back into the life of a Slayer. My life here is over."

"Well, why not just tell them that you're staying here?"

"I can't just do that! That's why I had to run away!" I exclaim, and heads turn. "Probably better talk about this somewhere less public." I suggest, and Cara nods.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

The familiar roar of the crowd signified my entrance to the cage, though this time, there were some major "BOO's" coming from the crowd as well. Obviously, some people were angry at me for losing last night. But this time, it'll be different. I spent the rest of the day after talking to Cara working out, minus the past two hours, when I was resting to recuperate. I barely got ready in time for this match. I search the crowd and see Cara sitting down nodding encouragingly towards me. I nod back just as the music for "The Exprcist's" entrance into the cage. Her cheering section has grown since last night, and the roar of the crowd for her is almost as loud as it was for me. It's discouraging, to say the least, to know that my fans will betray me without hesitation if I lose. So I can't lose this time.

She removes her cloak and the bell rings. We get down to business. She's obviously annoyed that she has to fight me again, because she tries to end it quickly. I sidestep to avoid the quick jab that was coming in for my face, and follow through with a jab of my own to her jaw. It connects, and she's surprized for a second. I wait for her to recover. That's not the way I want to beat her. She nods approvingly at me, and smiles. So, she's decided to actually enjoy this fight now that she knows I'm not gonna lay down and take a beating like I did last time.

The workout I put myself through just happens to have been going to the bad part of town and looking through the old abandoned buildings for a vampire nest I knew was there, but never did anything about because they never bothered me. But now, they're all dust. Courtesy of me. I feel like I've gotten at least partially back to my old skill, so we're on more even footing now.

She throws a left side kick at my hip, and I jump backward, then spring over her fist when she tries to punch, and land on my feet behind her. I barely tap her on the back of the head, but for any normal person, it would have been a TKO. So, she's obviously a Slayer, or something.

She whirls around and backfists me in the cheek. I fall to the ground and she tries to punch down at me, but I kick up, sending her flying into the wall of the cage and I land on my feet. She steps forward, then does a crescent kick in the air. I know what she's doing. She's not just missing with her attacks, she's building up momentum as she inches forward. Crescent kick, roundhouse, backspin kick, snap kick, crescent kick, and she finishes with another powerful roundhouse that, when I move my arm to block it, leaves the entire left side of my body numb, and I almost fall to the ground. Instead, while her attention is focused on the side of me that she's just about knocked out, I throw my other fist out and catch her in the left eye. She cries out in astonishment, and she's already starting to bruise, her eye swelling shut.

I take advantage of her momentary confusion, and swing the dead side of my body around. It's dead weight, but the momentum I cause by swinging it does some damage, and my left hand catches her in the side of the face. The feeling is returning slowly to my left side, but it's too late, because she recovers first, and jumps in the air, throwing both feet out towards me. I catch her left leg with my good arm, but her right leg follows through, catching me in the chest, and I stumble backwards as she picks herself up off the ground.

The crowd is going wild, seeing that this time, it's actually a good fight to watch.

She throws a fist out, and with the feeling now fully returned to my body, I catch her right fistin my left hand, and her left fist in my right hand, and I headbutt her, hard. Both of us stumble back a bit at that, and recover simultaneously. We tackle each other, and she ends up on top because she had the stronger forward momentum. She sits up so she's straddling my waist. She pulls back her right arm and brings it down into my gut with enough force to knock the wind out of an elephant. She cries out loud, like she's really angry at me. _Really_ angry. And not just because I've actually been holding my own. And just like that, I know I was right about who she is. She starts wailing on me, and I just take the punches, letting her run out of steam. Finally, I flip us over so I'm straddling her, and she just lays there on the ground with me pinning her hands over her head. She doesn't try to resist the pin, she just lets the three count come, and the match is over with the ring of the bell.

"Heeeeeeeeeere's your winner! Once again the Champion! The Chosen One! Theeeeeeeeeee SLAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYERRRRRRRRRRRRR!" The crowd roars louder than ever before, but I don't hear them. Instead, I focus on the woman beneathe me. I do what I've always done, but for the first time, I'm hesitant. This time, it's not just a signature finish. This time, it's real. At least for me, it is.

I pull her mask off slowly, and come face to face with a very red-eyed and obviously angry Faith. My sweat runs down my face, down my neck, down my chest, and it runs down between my breasts. My breathing is harsh, both from the fight, and the fact that I'm finally seeing Faith for the first time in five years, and other than a new scar on her left cheek, she looks exactly the same as I remember.

I lean in to kiss her, the same as I do with every other girl I beat, and my sweat drips from the tip of my nose to land on her cheek. Her breath hitches, and for a second, I think maybe Cara's right, and Faith does love me back. I close my eyes as I lean in and press my lips to hers. I lift her head up and press into her more, and our tongues come into play. Then, when the crowd starts cheering again, I pull away and try to catch my breath. Her anger is back now, so she pushes me away, gets up, and storms out of the cage. My agent joins me in the cage, totally oblivious to what really just happened, and he lifts my arm over my head victoriously. My eyes meet Cara's, and she looks at me sympathetically.

I track Faith down after the match and corner her against a wall.

I'm speechless as I stare at her, and she stares back, warring emotions inside her. She's changed. Maybe her style of fighting hasn't changed, and other than some new scars, her outward appearance hasn't changed, but the rest of her is completely different.

"Faith..." I gasp, but she holds her hand up to silence me.

"Don't say anythin', B. I don't wanna hear it."

"Faith, just let me-"

"No!" She snaps, and heads all around us turn to see what's going on. We both ignore them, though.

"Faith, just shut up and let me talk for a fucking minute!"

She recoils at my profanity. She's not used to me talking like that, and she's realizing that she's not the only one who's changed.

She motions for me to go on, but it seems forced.

"Thank you." I accept her gesture. "Look, I don't want to argue with you. I know you're mad at me for leaving, and for never trying to contact you or anything. I know you're mad that I left without any kind of warning or explanation. I know you're mad at me because all this time, you thought something had happened to me, when I've just been sitting around here not doing much of anything. I know, okay? So... since we're here, together, let me explain. Just give me a chance to explain everything, okay?"

Faith nods hesitantly.

"Not here, though. Too many ears, okay? Just... come with me back to my place, or wherever you're staying right now. Somewhere private."

Faith nods and motions for me to lead the way back to my house.

...

She doesn't say anything, or even look at me the whole walk back to my house, though I hear her sigh in surprize when she sees the sheer size of it.

I walk her inside to the living room, where she plops down on the couch and still refuses to look at me.

"You want something to drink? A beer or something?"

"No. I want you to say what you so desperately needed to say that you dragged me back here to do it."

I sigh in response. "I'm going to get a drink first. You sure you don't want one?"

She gives in. "Fine. Yeah, a beer'll be fine." I nod and head intothe kitchen, and return with a six pack. I set it on the table and tell her to help heself. "Thanks."

I open my beer and down half of it before setting it down on the table and begin talking.

"I've never actually _liked_ being the Slayer, Faith. I liked the powers when they came in handy for things like protecting myself and those Icare about, but the whole destiny thing never sat well with me. Ever since I was a young teenager, I've been the "Chosen One". Then, I died. It fucked me up in the head. I felt different. Depressed. I felt detatched from the rest of the world. From my friends, from my family. I got over it, then Kendra came along. It reminded me that I'd died, andI got depressed again for a while, but then we became friends. Then, she was killed by Drusilla, and you were called."

"Yeah, I know all this, B. Just get to the part where you fuckin' abandoned everyone." She snaps, taking another drink.

"Just let me speak, okay? I promise, I will try to make sense to you. I'm not going to justify my actions, because I know I made a mistake. Well, I know _some_ of it was a mistake. Other parts, I'm going to stand by. Now, you know everything that happened between you and me. You came to town, and we didn't like each other at first, but then we became friends. Then, you made a mistake in accidentally killing Finch." Faith tenses up at the accusation. "And you turned away from me. I don't know why you did it, but it hurt. It _really _hurt. Then, I had to almost kill you, and that hurt even worse.

"I fought the Master, I had to kill Angel, I had to almost kill you, I had to kill the Mayor, I had to kill a demon/cyborg hybrid thing, I had to kill a Hellgod in order to save my sister, who turned out to not be my sister, after all, and I died _again_. I was ripped out of heaven by my friends, and then my friend, Willow's girlfriend, Tara, was killed by a human with a gun. I had to stop Willow from destroying the world after she killed the human that shot Tara, and then you came back and everything got even more confused, and we had to fight the First, and I lost more friends, and it just got to be too damn much!" I stop and catch my breath, realizing that I'd been rambling. Then, as calmly as I can, I continue. "Then, it hit me. The Watcher's Council is gone. There are thousands, if not tens of thousands, of Slayers all around the world. Most of them are girls that actually _want_ to be special. Girls that actually _want_ to save the world, be someone important. And I just don't. I want nothing more than to have a normal life.

"So, I ran. I packed my bags and left in search of that normal life. Yes, I realize I should have told everyone I was leaving. I should have kept in contact. I should have come visit once in a while. But I don't regret the decision to leave. Look at my life. I get to let out my natural aggression with a job that actually requires it, but doesn't risk my life night after night. I get paid well for doing the job, and I can afford to keep up a house this size. I can provide for myself, and I can go to college during the day, when I'm not fighting at the club. I have a good, normal life now. And I love my life. So yes, I abandoned everyone. I regret that. I wish I could go back and change a lotof things.

"I would go back and fight harder for you, force you to open up to me, so that maybe you wouldn't have left me behind. I would go back and keep Angel from awakening Attila, or whatever that demon's name was, a little bit longer, until his soul returned. I would go back and stop Warren Mears from shooting Tara. I would go back and stop Glory from bleeding Dawn and opening the portal at all, so I wouldn't have had to kill myself to save the world. I would go back and get the Scythe sooner so we could awaken the Potentials sooner, and maybe we wouldn't have lost that many lives. Faith, there is so much I would go back and change, if I could. But I can't. And I'm sorry for leaving you. But I was afraid that if I told anyone I was leaving, they'd talk me out of it. _You_ would talk me out of it."

We're both silent for a long time, both of us tearing up, and Faith finishes off her beer.

Finally, she speaks. "You been havin' the dreams?"

I'm surprized. "Depends. What dreams are you talking about?"

"If you've been having them, you know exactly what dreams I'm talkin' about."

I sigh. I _do_ know. "Yes. I've been having them."

"You know, I talked to Queen C. She's actually gotten pretty good with the whole "Seer" thing. I think we figured out what those dreams were all about."

"Oh..." I blush, unable to meet Faith's eyes now.

"So, I looked up where I've been every time one of those dreams came, and paid attention to how strong the dream was. And I figured out that the dreams got worse the closer I was to here. That's how I figured out where you were. The dreams were tellin' me I was gettin' close to findin' you." I risk a look up at her to find her staring me in the eyes. "Tell me, B. Did they affect you the way they affected me?"

"Um... I don't know... How'd they affect you?"

"Imma be blunt about this, B. These last two dreams, they affected me big time. Enough that when I woke up, I found that I fuckin' came in my sleep. When the dreams first started happenin', and they started gettin' more... ya know, "coupley", like we were actually together in them, not just hangin' out or fuckin' each other senseless, I thought it was just me fantasizin'. Just my feelings for ya showin' up in my dreams."

My breath catches. _Is Faith confessing that she's in love with me?!_

"Then they went away for a while. A long while. And to be honest, it kinda made me sad. I wanted them to come back. 'Cause in them, I felt close to you. I felt like you were actually in love with me same as I was with you. But, I figured that it just meant there was some other reason behind the dreams than just me fantasizin'. That's when I started talkin' to Queen C about them. Of course, that meant havin' to tell her how fuckin' in love with you I was. But, together, we figured it out. Then, night before last, the first time the dreams affected us like that, I knew I was close. So I asked around about ya, figured, knowin' you, you had to go back a big thing of yourself. Was surprized when no one knew you. But then, caught wind of a fight club. So, figured, long as I'm here, might as well have some fun. That's when I came up with my persona "The Slayer" then, someone told me that that name was already taken, and that's when I figured it out. That's why I asked for you to be my "debut fight". Figured I could smack some sense into you or somethin'. But then, I just couldn't stop, and I realized how fuckin' _pissed_ I am at you." Faith's usually calm demeanor shatters, and her body starts shaking with rage as she lets her tears fall.

"Here I am, lookin' for ya for five fuckin' years... Even Dawn's given up on findin' you. But I never did, 'cause I stupidly thought that if I found you, that you'd leap into my arms, and kiss me, and we could start somethin' together. 'Cause damn it, I keep sayin' I loved you, like the whole "past tense" thing, but fuck that, I'm _still_ in love with you. But you know, I searched hard for five fuckin' years, and you never once looked for me. Didn't even hire a fuckin' Private Investigator to find me. It made me realize somethin' in the cage. You don't love me. Otherwise, you never woulda left in the first place. And even if you did, you woulda at least asked me to come with you. You know, B... I woulda come with you, if you'd just asked. At any time, you coulda asked for my heart, and I woulda just handed it over on a fuckin' silver platter. And I wouldn't have resented you or anythin' like that, I'd have enjoyed it. We'd have come here together, gotten away from the lives of Slayers together... All ya had to do was ask. But you never did. That's what made me realize that you didn't love me. Granted, shouldn't have gone off on you like that just 'cause you didn't love me back, but I was so fuckin' pissed, and I let it get the better of me. It hurt."

"Faith, I... I _do_ love you. I'm in love with you so much it hurts. Every time I wake up from one of those dreams, where we're together, I reach for you beside me, and my heart breaks when I don't feel you there. The disappointment nearly _kills_ me."

"Yeah? Say you love me after all, huh? Don't think so. Why didn't you look for me?"

"Well, I didn't keep in contact with anyone, so I didn't even know where to begin looking."

"Coulda started anywhere. We're not really hidin'. Yeah, we keep it a secret what we really are, what we're doin', 'cause no one really needs to know that vamps are real and that there's a bunch of old british dudes lettin' teenage girls do the fightin', but we're not really hidin', either. I mean, we're this big corporate thing now. Kinda like mercenaries, but more like bodyguards. You coulda just about started anywhere, and find us within a month or so if you were really lookin', if you know what to watch out for."

"I wasn't sure you'd even _want_ me to find you."

"That's the weakest excuse I've ever heard, B. You know what, I've heard what you wanted to say, so let's just go our separate ways now, yeah?"

"Faith..." I say softly as she gets up and starts to walk away. "Faith, please don't go." I beg her, but she ignores me and keeps walking. She's almost to the door now.

I run over to her and slam the door closed as she opens it. She glares at me and pushes me away, but I come back and slam the door closed again, this time pushing her away from it. She nearly slams into the wall, and the house shakes, but luckily, the wall doesn't break.

"Don't leave me." I beg her again, looking her in the eyes, and I lunge forward, pressing my lips against hers and kissing her, throwing everything I feel for her into the kiss, hoping beyond hope that I can convince her to stay. After a minute, I feel her kissing me back, and I relax into it, smiling.

"Mmh..." I moan as our tongues brush against each other, but then she pushes me away. She glares at me in rage.

"I hope to God that you enjoyed that, B. 'Cause that's it. I'm done. I'm goin' back home. Stay here if you want. Keep livin' your "normal" life. Meanwhile, we'll be savin' the world, makin' sure that you _can_ live a normal life." And with that, Faith walks out the front door, and out of my life.

"FAITH!" I scream in desperation after the door closes, but she doesn't come back. I sink to the floor and let my emotions take over as I sob into my hands until I slip into unconsciousness where I lay on the cold, hard floor.

...

_She pulls away from the kiss, gasping for air. She looks happy in the moment before I guess she joins me in the dream for real. She jumps off the bed, and my body weeps for the loss of contact with her body._

_ "Please, don't leave me here." I beg her. "Not in my dream. At least let me have this one last dream."_

_ Faith sighs, and for a moment, I think she's going to give in. She wants it, too. She _needs_ it. But I think we both know that it would be a very bad idea for us to follow through with this. Because then, we'll want more. One more time, even in dreams, is never enough._

_ "Sorry, B." And she means it. "But I just can't... I gotta go." She looks around the room for her clothes, but then seems to remember that this is a dream, so she closes her eyes and focuses, and her black t-shit, denim jacket, skinny blue jeans, and combat boots appear on her body, then she turns and walks out the door. I jump out of bed, my own clothes reappearing as I focus on them, and run after her outside._

_ "Faith!" I call, chasing her down, but then we both stop as we notice we're not outside my house. It's daylight out now, and we're in a different city altogether. "Where are we?" I ask her. _

_ Shrugging, she replies, "Downtown Cleveland, I think. Slayer HQ is set up uptown. Wonder why we're showin' up downtown instead of uptown?"_

_ "I'm kind of wondering that myself."_

_ Just then, we see a large group of demons walking down the street in broad daylight, throwing fireballs or just downright eating people left and right_. _Not bothering to hide. They're just killing. And killing. And killing._

_ "I'm going out on a limb here and saying that it has something to do with that." I quip, but she doesn't smile. Faith always cracked at least a small smile at my quips. Because I'm just witty like that._

_ "Yeah." Faith agrees, but she makes no move to stop them, and raises an eyebrow when I do._

_ "What?" I ask. "Why aren't we-?"_

_ "It's a dream, B. Nothin' we do will really affect anythin'. 'Sides, we don't know if this is happenin' now, or in the future."_

_ "Well, was it like this when you last left Cleveland?"_

_ "No."_

_ "Then I'm guessing that this is the future. Those demons look comfortable, like they've been here a while."_

_ "Yeah." Faith agrees monotonously._

_ "Well, then, looks like we've still got time to stop this from happening." I say, and Faith turns to me in surprize. "What?" I ask. "What did I say?"_

_ ""We"?" Faith asks. "You sayin' you're comin' back with me?"_

_ I take a deep breath as I realize that I _had_ said "we". It was on instinct. I guess you can take the girl out of the Hellmouth, but you can't take the Hellmouth out of the girl._

_ "Yeah. I guess that's what I'm saying." I confirm, and repeat my thought to her. She cracks a smile at that, and I swoon. I realize how much I've missed seeing her smile._

_ "Definitely not." She agrees._

_ "Um... Meet me back at my house once we wake up? I could use a ride to Cleveland."_

_ Faith nods, forcing her smile to fade. So, I made her smile, but she's still mad at me. Oh well. Baby steps, Buffy, baby steps._

_ We sit down on the top of the car we are next to and wait for the dream to end._

I wake up with a smile, knowing Faith is going to be here any minute. Then, I realize Faith is going to be here any minute. I spring up off the floor and rush upstairs to my bedroom to get ready. We may just be going to another Hellmouth to fight demons, but I still want to look my best for Faith.

By the time Faith rings the doorbell, I've showered, shaved my legs, pulled my hair back in a ponytail and got dressed in a thin pink blouse that exposed a decent amount of cleavage while still maintaining my modesty. I'm wearing skinny blue jeans that I've been told makes my butt jump out and say "hello!" but not in the bad way, and some black leather boots that run almost up to my knees. I'm wearing my usual silver crucifix pendant as well, plus some simple silver earrings. I put on some peach lip balm as well, then walked downstairs to the door and opened it to reveal Faith.

I just spent the last hour trying to look my best for her, and it seems she made a similar effort. She looks hotter than ever. She's foregone her usual skinny jeans and is instead wearing some loose jeans that hang down over the edges of her black sneakers. Converse All-Stars. I may not be much for sports shoes, but I know those shoes. Cara just about worships them. She's wearing her signature denim jacket over a plain white tee. Somehow, this simple look seems like she tried to make it look like she doesn't really care, yet she's never looked better in my opnion.

She notices me staring, and rolls her eyes. But then she notices what I'm wearing, and her own breathing hitches, and I can almost smell her arousal pooling in her panties over our perfumes.

"You... You ready to go, B?" Faith asks, clearing her breath. I nod indifferently, but inside, I'm grinning victoriously. I know she's noticed me, and I'm getting to her. Yes, Faith, prepare for a nice, long, _comfortable_, twenty-four hour drive.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

"Shit." I hear Faith whisper, so I look over to her and ask what's wrong. "Outta fuckin' gas." She gripes, and I smirk as she pulls the car over to the side of the road just as the engine sputters out.

"I told you you might want to fill up at that last gas station we passed."

"Yeah, well, didn't think I was this low on gas."

"Faith, these sports cars drink gas like you drink Jack."

Faith grimaced. "B... I, um... I gave up drinkin' a long time ago."

My surprize must have been obvious. "Oh." _So that's why she was hesitant to ask for a drink back at my house._

"Yeah, oh. I'm an alcoholic. Started gettin' worse when... Well, anyway, I gave up drinkin', 'cause I was startin' to fall back into old habits. Habits I didn't want to get back into. So, I gave up the alcohol when I gave the habits up again. Other than the past coupla days, I've been sober for two years straight."

"Oh." I catch every single implication in what she said. "It's my fault." I say, and Faith doesn't deny it. "You started drinking because I left, didn't you?"

Faith nods.

"And you got drunk after you realized who I was under my mask." That time, it wasn't a question, but she nodded, anyway.

"Yeah. Thought we were startin' somethin' before you left. We were gettin' closer, and I actually didn't find it all that uncomfortable. Actually kinda liked it. Couldn't handle the fact that even _you _left me."

"Wait, _even me_? What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean?" I growl in anger.

"Come on, Buffy, I didn't mean it like that." Faith sighs. "I just meant I thought you were the type to stick around. I thought that you weren't the type to run away. And... it really fuckin' hurt when you did."

I nod. "Sorry. I... um... I don't take as kindly to insults as I used to, and I thought that..."

"Hey, it's okay, B. I get it. We've both changed a lot over the past five years, right?"

"Yeah." I agree regretfully. "I guess we have." Then, an idea hits me. "Why don't we take this time to catch up, huh? I mean, we can wait for someone to come by and hitch a ride to a gas station with them. But in the meantime..."

Faith sighs and leans back in her seat. "Yeah, sure, whatever."

"Okay, we can, like, play twenty questions or something."

Faith smirks. "Glad to see not _everythin's _changed with ya, B. Still a kid at heart."

I smile. "So is that a yes?"

Faith groans but agrees.

"Yay!" I squeal, earning another smirk. "Okay, you go first."

"Fine. Um... So how long have you been doin' this whole fightin' thing at the club?"

"Um... since about six months after I left."

"Damn, so you're pretty set up right now, huh? Pretty much got a career in it. Not just a day job?"

I laugh. "One question per turn, Faith. But yes, I really enjoy it, so I think of it as a career."

She nods. "Fine. Shoot."

"Um... What kind of habits did you fall back into? When you were drinking, I mean."

Faith doesn't answer for a while. I'm just about to say nevermind when she opens her mouth and cuts me off. "Get some, get gone." Faith says, and I nod. I figured it was something like that, but she's not done. "Want. Take. Have. I slept around a lot, and I stole a few times. Mainly alcohol or another pack of cigs. That's another one. I picked up smokin' again. Still haven't been able to ditch that one, and I was doin' so good about it before. I hadn't had a cig in almost a month when I started smikin' again. I started blowin' things off. Important stuff. Like my job. I got fired from three jobs in one month because I started blowin' them off."

I'm speechless. Faith had stopped almost all of that by the time I'd left. She still blew a couple things off, but really, she only blew off patrol, and she only blew that off when she wasn't feeling well. And the cigarettes, I only saw her smoke one the whole time we were fighting the first, and maybe one immediately after the battle. She was doing better with it. Everything else, she'd stopped completely. The drinking, she got drunk maybe once a week after we beat the first, and even that was really only a particularly intense patrol or in celebration of somehting or other. The sleeping around and stealing had stopped altogether. And yet, me leaving drove her to do it all again?

"I... I'm sorry." I know apologizing couldn't begin to make up for what I did to her, and I feel smaller than a fucking mouse right now. But I have to do something to show her that I really do regret it all.

"Nothin' you can do about it, B. It happened. It's in the past. No sense in dwellin' on it. Just addin' it to the things I need to atone for. Doesn't matter, anyway, I'm gonna be strugglin' for redemption the rest of my life. What's stealin' and sleepin' around compared to murder?"

"Still... I'm sorry. I didn't know me leaving would affect you like that. If I had known..."

"But you didn't. I get it. You had to do you, so I just did me. I just did me wrong, is all. I'm back on the straight and narrow again. Tryin' to quit smokin', and I haven't slept around since I quit drinkin', two years ago. Haven't stolen, either. And I've finished everythin' I've ever started since then, so no more blowin' shit off."

"Wow."

Faith smirks slightly for a second as she says, "Well, maybe a couple things. I mean, a girl's still gotta have fun."

"Naturally." I agree with a corner of my mouth twitching into a smile. "So you still go dancing?"

She frowns. "Yeah. But you kinda ruined that for me, too, if I'm honest."

"How?"

"'Cause it's just not fun for me anymore. Not like it used to be. Dancin' with you was the best dancin' I've ever done. Now, anythin' else is just sub-par at best, and terrible at worst. I just get bored with it after five minutes or so and leave whatever club I was tryin' out."

"Oh." I knew it would be pointless to apologize, because she's not going to forgive me that easily, anyway.

"So. My turn, right?"

"Huh?" I ask, losing my train of thought.

"Twenty questions, right? You asked yours, now it's my turn." She looks over at me.

"Oh. Right. Yeah, shoot."

Faith thinks for a long while. Then, "So what was that kiss about when you beat me in the cage? Everyone seemed to be expectin' it."

I blush. "Yeah. It's... kind of my thing. Whenever I beat someone in a fight, I kiss them. I make a show of it. It was my agent's suggestion. He said I needed some kind of signature, something I could do that would make me stand out, make everyone root for me from day one. I tried a bunch of stuff, but nothing really caught on. Then, finally, he caught me kissing some girl. I don't even remember who it was, and he said it was so hot, that I should make that my signature. So, I tried it once, after I beat my next challenger, and the crowd went wild with it. So, I played the lesbian card. And it became my signature."

"Okay. So that's what it was about." She nods approvingly.

"No." I say.

"What?"

"I mean, yes, but no."

"Which is it, B? Yes or no?"

"Both. Yes, I _kissed _you because it's my signature exit, but I kissed _you_ because... Well... I still have feelings for you. I still love you, Faith. That's why I kissed _you_, just not why I _kissed_ you."

Faith looks at me in confusion, but doesn't press it.

Finally, I bite. I ask the question I've been dying to ask her since I saw her face in the cage. "So. My turn. Are you... Are you involved? With someone?"

She looks at me, trying to read me, then bursts into laughter. "Oh, wow! You're really serious about that?! God, that's fuckin' hilarious! I'm sorry, B, but you're a riot!"

Somehow, I get the feeling that she wasn't actually sincere with her laughter. I get the feeling that it's just thinly concealing a source of rage, so I don't press it, but it seems too late to stop.

"'Cause seriously? I already told you how in love with you I _still_ am, and have been for years, and how you've pretty much _ruined_ everything I ever did for fun for me!" Now she's yelling. "You ruined my fuckin' life! The _only_ life I have left is the life of a fuckin' _Slayer_! And you have the _nerve_ to try and hit on me like that?!" She opens the door roughly, steps out, and slams it closed behind her as I fight back tears. I get out of the car and start walking after her.

"Leave me alone, B!" She shouts as she feels me following.

"I'm not going to do that, Faith. I'm here to stay now! We need to do _something_ to at least _try_ to resolve this,or we'll never be comfortable again with each other! I love you, Faith."

"Fuck you!"

"Faith, just stop, will you?!"

"No! Leave me the hell alone! Just go back to your fuckin' club! Go beat the shit outta some mortals and get back to your fuckin' mansion!"

I run after her and slam into her before she can even turn. She falls down on the ground. I don't want to fight her, but I need her to get out some of this aggression, or I'll never get her to talk to me. She stands up and slowly turns to glare at me in anger.

"What the _fuck_ was that about?" She asks, her voice a deadly calm, and her eyes almost literally burning holes in me.

"You won't stop and talk to me." I explain simpy, knowing that my carefree tone would piss her off even more.

What I didn't count on was her taking a deep breath and forcing the anger down. She turns around and starts to walk away. But I'm not giving up that easily. I pick up a small rock and throw it at her, hard. It strikes her between the shoulders, and she stops. That did it.

In an instant, she's tackled me to the ground and is screaming ferally as she starts punching me mercilessly.

I flip us over and punch her back. If this is going to work, then I'm really going to have to fight her. She kicks up and I fly backwards, hitting the ground hard. She kicks up and lands on her feet, and by the time she gets over to me, I've gotten to my feet as well.

She throws another punch towards my face, but I block the strike, only to find it was a feint, and her other fist slams into my chin in a powerful uppercut.

I stumble back, but use my momentum to backflip over my head and bring my feet up into her chest. She stumbles away as well, then comes back in and clotheslines me as I recover my balance. I lose my breath as she slams me into the ground and starts punching me again, but as soon as I recover it, I grab her shoulders and push her away, then push her down to the ground so I'm straddling her waist and holding her shoulders down on the ground while she struggles to regain the upper hand.

"Goddamn it, Buffy!" She shouts. "Get the fuck offa me!" She screams in frustration as nothing she does can move me. Finally, after five minutes of struggling, she runs out of steam and just lays on the ground, tears of anger streaming down her face. I gently brush the tears away and look her in the eyes.

Both of us stare into each other's eyes for a long time, then I find that I was leaning into her to kiss her without even noticing. I close the distance and press my lips to hers. She kissed me back, tenderly, and her arms wrap around me. I let her take control again as she flips us over so she was on top. I wrap my legs around her hips as our tongues intertwine, and I moan hungrily into the kiss. My eyes are closed as I savor the sensations roaring inside me. I can feel her touch, her kiss, all the way down. Faith has completely filled my body.

Finally, we hear a honking noise, and I curse my luck as Faith stumbles back away from me. I want to scream in frustration, but instead, I just stand and brush myself off, and walk back towards the car, and the Big Mac that had pulled up beside it.

"Looked like you girls could use a ride!" The truck driver said good naturedly.

"Yeah. Could use a ride." I agree, though I'm definitely thinking about a different kind of ride right now. And with someone else. Not some old truck driver.

Faith looks over at me, obviously knowing what I'm getting at, and it looks like she could use one, too. But, instead of nodding her agreement, she just glares at me, like I'd just bitch-slapped her, then turns back to the driver and says "Yeah, we'd appreciate that. Just up to the next gas station, and if it's not too much trouble, maybe a ride back?"

"Oh, sure thing!" He says cheerily, and gestures for us to hop in. Faith lets me in first, though I know it's not because she's being generous. She just wants to make sure she can get out first. I sigh and hop in, buckling up. Damn. I just thought we were getting somewhere.

"So you two together?" The driver asks, trying to make conversation. I let Faith answer, because I don't have the heart to say no. I want us to be, but I doubt it'll ever happen if Faith keeps pushing me away like this.

But then, to my surprize, she gives a completely different answer from what I expect.

"Yeah. We're together." She smiles at the driver and kisses me passionately. My mind is foggy when she pulls away, and I whimper at the loss of contact.

_What? What just happened? We're together? Since when? Since just now? But... I don't understand._

"I see. Well, I'm not like most Christian folks, you see. I don't got no problems with you homosexuals. Fact, my own son is homosexual, and he's got himself a nice little boyfriend back home. Real good boy. I support the gay folks now, you see. So y'all don't got no problems when you're with me. Y'all don't worry 'bout hidin' none of it, you hear? Y'all wanna be 'ffectionate, then by all means, y'all just be 'ffectionate. Just don't go too crazy, you hear? Don't mind kissin' in _my_ truck, but I draw the line at anythin' past that."

I'm blushing furiously, but Faith seems to be enjoying my discomfort. She's smirking, and I'll take smirking over angry-face any day, so I don't do anything to discourage that.

But one thing's for sure, this is going to be a long ass road trip.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

"You know, fer a nice young little lesbian couple, you two don't seem too lovey-dovey." The driver notices.

"Yeah, my girlfriend isn't that into the touchy-feely stuff." Faith says quickly.

_So she's really going through with this, huh?_ I think to myself. _Well, might as well have fun with it for now._ I smile at Faith, who actually looks worried.

"Oh, that's okay, Faith. You can kiss me if you want. I don't mind. And Cletus here has already said _he_ doesn't mind."

Faith's glare says it all to me. [What the hell are you doin', B?]

[What? You're my _girlfriend_, aren't you, _F_?] I fire back with my eyes.

[This shit ain't funny.]

[You started it.]

[Biggest mistake of my life.]

[And now you're going to have to deal with it.] I smile as I lean in and kiss her sweetly on the lips. She hesitates before she returns the kiss for Cletus' sake.

When we pull apart, I let my hand rest on Faith's leg, about halfway up her thigh, and her breath hitches, even if her glare tells me to take my hand off her leg. Instead, I squeeze her thigh and her breath hitches again, her eyes squeezing closed.

I smile and move my hand up a bit. Just a little bit, but it does not go unnoticed by the now obviously aroused brunette beside me. Her hand flies to mine and squeezes my hand. She tries to remove my hand on her own, but I squeeze tighter, and her resolve fails. Her hand slumps to the seat beside her and she silently moans. It's quiet enough that even my Slayer hearing can barely detect it. Cletus, the driver, didn't hear it, but I can feel the vibrations through her body.

I inch my hand up a little more, so that if I extend my little finger, I could brush against her hip, and I dip my hand down between her legs slightly. At first, I was just doing this to get back at Faith for getting pissy with me after our kiss, but now it's turning me on, too. Very much so.

She subconsciously spreads her legs a little, and my and slides up more of its own free will, and I brush my little finger against her center through her jeans. She exhales shakily to prevent a louder moan from escaping. I use my other hand to grab her left hand and place it on my thigh. She starts stroking my leg, and when I press harder against her core, her hand squeezes down on my thigh just to the right of my own aching center.

I rub her through her jeans with my entire right hand, forgetting about the fact that we're not alone, and she seems to do the same, because she cups my sex through my skinny jeans and puts enough pressure on me to leave me light-headed. Somehow, both of us remain quiet as we continue rubbing each other, slowly pushing each other closer and closer to the edge.

"Here we are." Cletus' voice startles us out of our trance, and we quickly pull our hands back as he pulls in to park. "I got me a large gas can if y'all want to fill it up fer yer car. Go ahead and do that, and I'll give ya a ride back to yer car, a'ight?"

"Yes... That... That's fine... Thanks." Faith says huskily, and she quickly jumps out the door with the gas can and darts to the gas pump.

"I need to go to the bathroom." I say and jump out as well.

"Sure thing!" Cletus calls. "I ain't in no hurry!"

I immediately find the bathroom inside and run in, closing and locking the door behind me. Like most gas station bathrooms, this thing is filthy, but I'm so painfully aroused right now that I really don't care.

I quickly pull my pants down to my ankles and lean against the wall as I thrust three fingers deep inside myself.

"Gah!" I gasp as I start pumping my fingers in and out quickly, trying to get my release before Cletus and Faith come looking for me. I can't help but imagining them as Faith's fingers sliding in and out of me, hard and fast, pushing me slowly over the edge.

My knees are getting weak, so I put my other hand on the edge of the sink and grip it for stability.

I have no sense of time, but I'm certain that it's been long enough that I should have been back from the bathroom by now.

I'm right on the edge, but I need something more than my fingers to push me past it, and get the release I desperately need. Hesitantly, I reach into my jacket pocket and pull out my stake. I use the bathroom soap to lubricate the blunt end, then press it to my entrance. I push just the edges of the weapon past my puckering lips and start moving it around in circles. I tease my entrance for a minute or so before I push it inside slightly, and my knees buckle, my grip on the sink not strong enough to support me anymore.

The tip of the stake hits the ground, and my sudden weight on top of it pushes me all the way down over the weapon. The sharp, sudden intrusion leaves my body trembling as I'm finally pushed over the edge in a screaming orgasm.

"B?" I hear Faith's shaky voice on the other side of the door. The sound of her now even huskier voice, and the knowledge that she definitely knows what I'm doing in here, probably because she'd had the same plan, pushes me into another orgasm, causing small seizures to wrack my body. Finally, once I've come down enough to be able to move, I pull my stake out of my pussy and toss it in the sink to rinse it off.

I stand up on shaky legs, my knees close to giving out again, and slowly pull my pants and underwear back up. I gasp as my panties brush against my tender clit, then turn to the sink. My stake, unfortunately, broke when I fell, so the other half is lying on the ground in splinters. I don't bother rinsing it off, I just take both halves and throw them in the trash, then catch my breath and get my strength back before I unlock the door and walk out. Faith and I blush at each other, unable to meet each other's gaze.

She decides not to go into the bathroom, knowing that I'd know exactly what she'd be doing in there, and instead pays for the gas and follows me back out to Cletus' truck.

"Damn, you sure do take a while in the bathroom, girlie." Cletus says with a whistle when Faith and I crawl back up in his truck.

"Yeah. Sorry." I whisper, morbidly embarrassed that Faith had just heard me... And knew that she was the cause of it.

...

Neither Faith nor I say another word, or provoke each other at all the entire ride back to the car. Cletus fills the silence with some awful country music from before even the _eighties_ and stories of his family back home, but we don't really listen. Instead, I sit and feel Faith shifting beside me uncomfortably. She never got her release back at the gas station, so she's still sitting there, her clit throbbing.

Finally, Cletus pulls the truck to a stop beside Faith's red corvette.

"Well, here y'all are. Thank ye fer yer comp'ny, and I hope you two girlies drive safe now." He says with a smile, oblivious to the tension between us. Faith quickly gets out of the truck, taking the gas can with her, and I follow her back to the car.

"Faith, give me the keys." I say. She glares at me. "Trust me. Just give me the keys."

"No." She says bluntly.

"Faith, I promise, I won't get a scratch on your car. Just give me the keys already. You need to release some of that tension in your body, and we both know there's only one way that's going to happen right now. You can't do that while driving, so let me drive so you can take care of that, okay?"

Faith hesitates for a few minutes while she empties the gas can into the tank. Finally, she sighs and hands me the keys.

"Fine." She mumbles.

"If you really want to, then we can trade back once you've taken care of yourself, okay?"

She nods. I get in and start the car shile she runs the gas can back to Cletus and thanks him.

As he drives off with a wave, Faith climbs into the passenger seat and hesitates, rubbing her knees with both hands nervously.

"Don't be so nervous. Just do it, okay?" I say as I put the car in "Drive" and pull back onto the road. I hear Faith sigh, then hear her jeans coming undone, then a quiet moan as her fingers find her clit inside her panties. Assuming she's wearing any, of course.

"Mmh." Faith moans as she starts rubbing herself, and the sound catches my attention. But, I promised Faith no scratches on the car, so I focus on the road, and try to ignore the moans that are now continously escaping Faith's lips, and the sight in my peripheral vision of her hips bucking as she thrusts in and out of herself.

She continues to thrust mercilessly for ten minutes, but never manages to find that climax, so she's started to cry in frustration. Finally, I pull the car over and put my hand over hers to still her movements. Her eyes shoot daggers at me, saying "don't you dare try to stop me."

Instead, I look into her eyes, saying to trust me, and I pull her hand out of her pants. I slowly slip my hand in her pants, and her eyes grow wide as she gasps for air. No surprize, she's not wearing any panties. The tip of my middle finger finds the very top of her slit and I start rubbing her there in circles. She throws her head back, panting, and she lets out a small whimper. My hand slides down more, and I pinch her clit between my index and middle fingers, then start rubbing her pussy, dragging her clit along with my fingers. She bucks her hips almost wildly, and I push down on her to still her hips.

"Fuck!" Faith cries, and I realize my grip on her clit slipped, and my fingers are ather entrance. I look into her saucer-sized eyes, and start teasing her entrance with the tip of my middle finger. She thrusts her hips down, trying to slip my fingers inside herself, and I let her imaple herself on two of my fingers. She moans loudly as I slide my fingers in and out slowly at first, but I gain momentum over time.

I can feel my arousal growing rapidly as well, and I groan in frustration as I realize that this is just going to go in circles. I find my release, but Faith still needs hers. I help Faith find her release, but now I need mine again. A viscious cycle.

Finally, her inner walls clamp down on my fingers, and she screams as I ride out her orgasm, and her juices soak my hand and fill her pants.

I leave my fingers inside her as she pants for breath, and I feel her walls pulsing as she comes down slowly from her high.

Then, she shifts, letting me know it's time to pull out now. I pull my hand out of her pants, and she hands me a napkin to wipe my hand off. I nod gratefully as I accept the cloth and wipe her juices off, suddenly wondering how they'd taste. But I don't dare try to taste her juices, I've gone far enough as it is.

"Thanks." Faith says, not meeting my eyes as she zips and buttons her jeans again, then sits up.

"Don't mention it." I say, trying, and failing, to keep the huskiness out of my voice. Faith notices, and her eyes show me her sympathy. She reaches over to try and help me the same as I just helped her, but I wave her off.

"No. Don't bother." She looks at me in confusion. "If you do me, then you'll be aroused again, and I'll need to do you again so you can relax, then I'll need it again, because I'll be aroused again, and we'll just keep going like that in a viscious circle. That can't happen, Faith."

She nods in understanding.

"Well, let's just find a motel or somethin'." She suggests. "We can get a couple of rooms for the night, and you can do you, and I'll do me again, 'cause there's no way I'll make it tonight without doin' it again, knowin' that you're in another room doin' it, and we'll both take care of this pressure, and start new tomorrow."

"Yeah." I agree. "I think there was one just down the road from that gas station earlier."

"Let's get goin'." Faith says, buckling up.

"You want to drive?"

"Nah. I trust ya."

I nod, starting the car again, and we set off down the road again in an uncomfortable silence.

_Holy fuck, did I just... Did I just finger Faith?!_ Is the only thought running through my mind the whole ride to the motel.

...

"Fuck." Faith groans as she walks back over to me.

"What?"

"Problem, B."

"What?" I ask again.

"They've only got one room available."

"Fuck." I curse under my breath.

"Yeah. What's more, it's a fuckin' small room. Only one bed."

I curse again.

"Yeah."

I think for a minute. "Fine. I'll just... I'll sleep on the floor tonight, you can have the bed, and I'll find a bathroom or something to... you know..."

Faith sighs. "Look, B, you take the bed, okay? I can handle sleepin' on the floor, but you'll need to be comfortable if you're... you know..."

"No, it's alright. You're driving tomorrow, so you'll need to get a good night's sleep. You take the bed."

"Fuck. Fine, we'll both take the bed, then."

"What?"

"You heard me. Look, we're both adults here, not some nervous sissy teenagers. We can share a bed for one night. Doesn't mean anythin', just means there's really no choice."

I hesitate before answering. "Yeah, okay. Fine. But... um... what about...?"

"I don't know. We'll figure it out." Faith runs a hand through her hair, then we walk back up to the counter. "Alright. We'll take it." she grumbles, and the lady behind the counter smirks as she hands Faith the key to the room.

"You two enjoy your stay." She winks.

"Thank you." I say politely, though I'm about as happy about this situation as Faith is.

...

Faith and I are standing on either side of the bed, staring at it awkwardly. Neither of us have done anything to relieve the aching arousal that's affecting us both now since I... since I fingered Faith in her car.

"So... um... We'd... probably better get to bed." I say.

Faith clears her throat. "Uh... yeah... Let's hit the sheets." She agrees. Neither of us makes a move to crawl into bed.

"Um... before we get in... how are we gonna... you know..." I click my tongue suggestively. "I mean... we both need to... but... there's, like... no walls or barriers... or anything... Even if one of us went in the bathroom, we'd still hear each other, and... you know?"

"Yeah... um... I don't know... Maybe... I don't know... think you can just sleep through it? Ya know,ignore the urge, and just sleep?"

I gulp. "I... I don't know... What about you?"

Faith thinks for a minute. "No. Don't think so." She admits.

"Yeah... same here..."

"Fuck." Faith groans, and sits on the bed.

"Look... this is all my fault, anyway, so... Why don't you just... I'll step outside, give you a few minutes... like, ten, fifteen minutes... for you to take care of... business... then I'll just suffer through it... It'll fade eventually..."

Faith actually considers it for a minute. "No. No, that's not gonna happen. 'Cause then you'll come in, and I'll just know how... excited... you are... and it'll get me all... excited again... and like you said, viscious circle..."

I groan and plop down on the other side of the bed.

"Well... Let's just at least try to get some sleep or something... We can try to ignore it, and hope it's gone by tomorrow morning."

"Yeah..." Faith agrees. "Sounds like the safest option so far..."

I nod, and we both start undressing, getting ready for bed.

I strip out of my jacket and blouse, sliding on a plain white pajama shirt from one of my bags, then take off my boots and pants, crawling into bed. I look over at Faith before I can stop myself and my breath catches when I see her reaching around her back to unclasp her bra. She's still not wearing any panties.

"Faith!" I squeak, and she jumps.

"Fuck! Sorry! Force of habit!"

"What?!"

Faith takes a deep breath and re-clasps her bra. "I don't wear anythin' to bed, B. Not normally. It's too restrictin'. That's what I mean by force of habit."

"Oh... Well... at least for tonight, could you... you know...?" I point to her still exposed, and very, very wet pussy.

"Sorry, B... Only underwear I got are lacey, and it'll just be more provocative than goin' to bed in the buff." Faith turns around, dropping her hands to cover herself.

I groan. Tonight's going to be hell.

"Look on the bright side, B. Only two more days 'fore we get back to Cleveland." Faith mutters sarcastically. And I groan again.

_Two more days?! OF THIS?!_

"Yeah." Is all I say.

"Look, if I'm gonna be naked... you might as well be, too... You should at least be as comfortable as possible."

"Trust me, me being naked is _not_ going to make either of us comfortable. Why don't you... Why don't you borrow a pair of mine?" I suggest, and Faith nods, like the idea hadn't occured to her. She rummages through my bag for some panties, before I realize she's in the wrong bag.

"NO!" I exclaim, but it's too late. She's found it.

She recoils, throwing the purple dildo back in my bag, panting.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" I bury my face in my hands in embarassment. "B, tell me you weren't just comin' on this trip hopin' to get lucky!"

"No!" I shout back to her. "I swear, that was _not_ my intention. I only brought it because... well... I figured..."

"Figured what?!"

"Ifiguredwe'regoingtoClevelandforsomeheavyslayageandI'dneedsomethingtohelpmerelievethesecond"H"!" I run my words together.

"What? Mind slowin' that down for me?"

I take a deep breath. "I figured we're going to Cleveland for some heavy slayage, and... well... you know... "H&H", right? "Hungry and horny"? I figured I'd need something to... to help relieve... the second "H"."

Faith nods in understanding, then starts laughing. Now that I think about it, this whole situation is really silly. So, I start laughing with her, and suddenly, we're both on the ground, rolling in laughter until it hurts to breath.

"Oh, fuck, B! I haven't laughed that hard since... well, fuck, EVER!" Faith says after she catches her breath.

"Yeah, me neither." I agree. I stand back up and straighten everything back up in my bag, stowing my toy back under all my clothes. I zip the bag closed and reach into my other bag. I toss Faith a pair of panties and another white pajama shirt. She says thanks and slips the panties on, but doesn't accept the shirt.

"Sorry, B, but I can't wear a shirt to bed. Like I said, too restrictin'. Bad enough I gotta wear underwear and a bra."

I nod in response. "Alright. I can deal with that." I take the shirt back, fold it neatly, and put it back in my bag, then the two of us crawl into bed and turn out the lights.

"Night, Faith." I say after we're both settled in.

"Yeah. Night, B." Faith says.

We lay in bed, both of us still painfully aroused for several hours before I finally hear Faith's breathing fall even, and I know she's asleep. That brings me some relief, so exhaustion finally takes me at around two in the morning.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

_Neither Faith nor I have control over our bodies as we make love. Neither of us can stop touching the other, loving the sounds we make, reveling in the smell, and feel, and sound of our ecstasy._

_ "Buffy..." Faith whispered, because whispering is all either of us can do._

_ "Faith..." I whisper back, and we both gasp for air simultaneously as we thrust two fingers inside each other, and arch ourbacks, pressing into each other's bodies. We move together, as one. Our humid breaths mix together in the air, and the smell and slickness of sweat on our skin heightens the pleasure, and I break first. My body goes rigid, and I'm paralyzed as my walls clamp down on her fingers hard, and she speeds up her thrusts, grinding her thumb against my clit with each movement, prolonging my climax for as long as possible. Which is a long time when you're making love to a Slayer._

_ Finally, I come down after two or three minutes, and her thrusts start to slow, but never stop as I continue my ministrations to her center, and her body stills but a few moments after I continue. I do as she did, and speed up my thrusts, leaving her breathless, and her body trembling as her climax slams into her and pulses through her body. Seeing her like this, she's so beautiful that the sight pushes me into my fifth orgasm of the night, and it spreads through my body like a subtle, dull ache, but it leaves my mind numb so the only thing I can see, feel, hear, smell, taste, or even think... is Faith._

_ "I love you..." I whisper as we both come down again, and she collapses on top of me._

_ "I love you, too..." Faith whispers back, and our lips meet in a soft, passionate kiss._

I wake up with that same ache from my dream spreading throughout my body, and I can already feel the pool of my essence in bed. I don't want to open my eyes. I don't want it to just be a dream, like every dream before that.

However, unlike all of my dreams before this one, I can feel that I'm not alone. I hesitantly open my eyes and see Faith holding onto me, squeezing me, trying to catch her breath, and I can see the exact moment when she, too, reaches her climax just from the dream, because her body relaxes, and she opens her eyes.

Then, she sees me looking at her, smiling, and she freaks out.

She jumps out of bed, gathers her clothes from yesterday and darts into the bathroom before I can even say so much as "good morning". I push the tears back down. Somehow, this is worse than all the disappointment I've had after waking up from that kind of dream and realizing Faith wasn't actually there beside me. Those disappointments broke my heart. This is worse. This makes me want to die.

I hear the shower in the bathroom turn on, so I get out of bed, grab some clothes out of my bag, and set them by the bathroom door while I strip the bed. I put the sheets in a laundry hamper by the front door and start a pot of coffee while I wait for Faith to come out. The coffee is terrible, but it does help wake me up fully and take my mind off the emotions warring inside me.

Finally, Faith steps out of the bathroom, her hair still wet from the shower, though it's no longer dripping. I completely ignore her, because I know that's what she wants right now, and instead just grab my clothes and head in to get myself a shower.

On the bright side, that dream helped relieve some of the tension that had been building inside me all day yesterday. It's not completely gone, but it's bearable now.

_Why won't she do anything?_ I think as I let the hot water beat down on my back. _I mean, she's already said she loves me. She said it to my face, and I know she meant it. I know she _still_ means it. And I've already told her that I'm in love with her. So why won't she do something? Why won't she let _me_ do something? Someone needs to make a move. She's just in the next room, yet, somehow, she's never felt so far away._ I let the tears fall as I let my thoughts carry me away.

I must have been in the shower longer than I thought, because when I finally snap out of my thoughts, I'm shivering with the cold water. I turn the water off and step out of the shower. My lips have barely started to turn blue when I look in the mirror, so I plug in my hair dryer that I brought with me and use it to dry my hair, letting the heat warm me up.

When my hair is dry, I brush the tangles out and get dressed before stepping out to see an empty motel room. I hear the car's engine going outside, and my bags are already gone. I pick up my bra, shirt, and panties from last night along with my brush and hairdryer, and take them all back out to the car, where Faith is waiting for me.

I get in and buckle my seat belt just as Faith pulls away from the motel and back onto the road.

We'd been driving for almost fifteen minutes before I speak up.

"Faith, did you mean it when you said you love me?"

She's silent for a few minutes before I give up. I throw my hands inthe air in surrender.

"Whatever." I grumble. "You don't want to talk, fine. Let's just sit here in this damned uncomfortable silence the rest of the way to Cleveland."

"Yes." Faith finally answers. "Yes, I meant it. I still do. I'm still in love with ya."

"Okay. Well, I'm in love with you, too. I knew it before I left. I just didn't want to face it, because I was scared that you'd reject me, or worse, and after all the heartbreak I've suffered in the past, I couldn't handle that. That's one of the reasons I left."

Faith nods, like she understands what I'm talking about.

"Okay. So, long story short, you love me, I love you, so why the hell are we just sitting here, driving down the road in silence instead of giving this a chance?"

"Giving _what_ a chance?"

"Us!"

"There is no _us_, Buffy. Don't know if there _ever_ will be an _us_."

"There will be an _us_ if you'd just agree to take a chance. I won't hurt you, Faith."

"You can't promise that!" Faith snaps, slamming on the brakes and parking the car.

She turns to look at me, and the hurt is evident in her eyes.

"For fuck's sake, Buffy, I was lookin' for you for _five years_! For more than _five years_, I've wanted there to be an _us_, and I'd be lyin' if Isaid I don't _still_ want it! But we just _can't_, Buffy, because neither of us can promise to the other that we won't hurt each other! You want a normal life, fine! I do, too! But I'm not _stupid_ enough to think that we could _ever_ have a normal life! You've managed to stay under the radar for five years, but that's not gonna last much longer! What you have isn't a normal life,Buffy, it's _luck_. You've been _lucky _so far that you haven't been found by any Big Bads. But guess what? We haven't been that lucky! Do you know how many girls I've had to watch _die_ over the past five years? Young ones! Girls younger than you were when you were called!

"Girls barely into puberty are out there riskin' their lives every fuckin' night! Thirteen year old girls are _dying_ every night because they were one of the lucky few that got themselves chosen by some unseen power to die fightin' demons! Girls that still think there's a monster under their bed are out there fightin' _real_ monsters every night! And here you've been sittin' back, kickin' your feet up and relaxin' the whole fuckin' time! You have the power to _do_ somethin' about it, but you don't! For all we know, it could be _my_ turn to die next! Or yours! Or Xander's, or Willow's, or Dawn's, or Ken's, or Giles', or any number of people who've ever had anythin' to do with the Slayers!

"And you're just sittin' back lettin' it all happen! And not only does that piss me off, it fuckin' hurts like hell! Because _you _used to be the one tellin' _me _to stop actin' like a fuckin' child, and now you're doin' the same thing! Yeah, we took different approaches: I went crazy with the Slayin', and let it make me thinkI was invincible, but you're actin' like you can just avoid it all now! How's your conscience, B? Huh? You sleepin' well at night, knowin' that while you sleep, little girls are dyin' doin' what you're supposed to be doin'? No, of course not! You're too busy havin' fuckin' _sex dreams_ about me! And it's pissin' me off because I'm havin' the same fuckin' dreams!

"You're all I can think about anymore! How it would feel to be able to fuckin' touch you, to kiss you, to fuckin' make love to you! And all this time, I've been fightin', wishin' that you were right there beside me, 'cause only you could've made the shit I go through night after fuckin' night bearable. Knowin' that once the nightly battles are over, I could come home with you and just hold you would've made everythin' I've been through worth it. But instead, I got to go home to an empty fuckin' bed, and dream about you, then wake up and cry my fuckin' eyes out because I realize every night that it was just a dream, and you're still not there.

"That's why I'm not gonna take a chance. I'm not gonna let myself hope that once whatever is goin' on is over, you're still gonna be there, with me and for me. I'm not gonna let myself hope that whatever we could have would work, and that you'd stay with me, even if I choose to stay a Slayer." Faith takes a deep breath and wipes away the tears that had been rolling down her face. "I love you, Buffy. You have no idea how in love with you I am. But that's _why_ I can't take a chance on us like that. It'll leave us both too vulnerable, and open to be hurt. I can't stand the thought of not wakin' up beside you every day for the reast of my life, but the thought of havin' you, and possibly losin' you some time down the road is even worse."

I can't speak, I can barely breathe. It feels like my entire body has closed up. I can only say two words. "I'm sorry."

Faith nods. "Yeah. I know. But sayin' sorry just doesn't erase the pain I've been feelin' for five years now. Sayin' sorry doesn't make up for the fact that you're the cause of the pain I've been feelin' for five years. So here's the deal, B. We go to Cleveland. We find out what's tryin' to take over the Hellmouth. We kick some demon ass, and then you decide what you wanna do after. You wanna stay in Cleveland as a Slayer, fine. I'll even help ya move the rest of your stuff from your house to some place near HQ. You wanna go back to where ya came from, keep goin the way you've been doin' the last four and a half years, that's fine, too. So that's the way it's gonna go. You wanna stick around after we beat whatever needs beatin', then I guess we're co-workers,and maybe some day, even friends. But for right now, just think of us as acquaintances."

And that last word stings more than everything she's said to me so far.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

Faith pulls into a rest stop later that day. I haven't said a word since our last conversation, despite the fact that Faith keeps trying to get me to say _something_ at least.

"You hungry, B?" She asks, knowing full well that I'm probably not going to say anything. And she's right. I could handle being called her co-worker. Or a friend. I could even handle being told we're not going to take a chance on a relationship together, of that we're not friends anymore.

But being called acquaintances is just so... cold. I don't want to be her acquaintance. An acquaintance is just someone you _might_ say hi to in passing.

"Fine. Don't say anythin', then. But _I'm_ hungry. I'm goin' inside and gettin' somethin' to eat. If you're hungry, come in. I'm buyin'." Faith growls as she unbuckles and get out of the car, slamming the door shut. I don't follow her in right now. Instead, I finally let the tears that have been hiding just under the surface roll out onto my cheeks as I start crying.

While I cry, I think. I just think about Faith. And me. The dreams. How we used to be. How we are now. How we might have been by now if I hadn't left.

Finally, after about twenty minutes, I feel my face, and I notice that my tears have dried up by now. I feel dehydrated now, so I give in. I reach in the glove box and pull out a napkin. I blow my nose, then use another napkin to wipe my face off. I check myself in the mirror and notice that my eyes are still very red from the crying, but my cheeks are just about back to their usual color.

So, taking a deep breath, I get out of the car and close the door gently before making my way into the rest stop. Faith looks up at me when I walk in. I'm wearing sunglasses right now to hide my puffy eyes, but the look on her face says she knows what I'm doing. She knows exactly why I'm wearing sunglasses.

So, I avoid any confrontations, and sit down at the bar, away from Faith, who's taken up a booth, obviously waiting for me.

I can feel her frustration from here, but neither of us back down.

"Can I get you something, Miss?" A woman behind the counter asks, smiling at me. She's cute. She's got deep red hair, almost like blood. Her skin is kind of pale for the people in this area, but it's still a shade or two darker than mine. She's covered in freckles, and has piercing emerald green eyes. I give her a once over, mainly because I know Faith is watching. I notice the edge of a tatoo of some kind sticking out from under the edge of her v-neck collar, just above her right breast. I think it's the tip of the wing of an eagle.

If Faith doesn't want to take a chance on us, then I guess some harmless flirting wouldn't kill anyone.

"Some ice water would be nice... Marian." I say, looking at her name tag. She smiles at me, and I grin back. I can feel Faith glaring at me, and I know she knows exactly what I'm doing. I know it's not going to work, but it's still fun trying.

"Well, one ice water coming up then..." She looks at me expectantly.

"Buffy." I say, for the first time in five years giving a complete stranger my real name.

"Buffy, then." She smiles again, and I can't help but think how similar to Faith's smile Marian's is. She takes a cup and scoops some ice into it, the turns her back to me to fill the glass up with ice. I let my eyes trail down to her ass, and I have to give her some credit. She has a nice ass. Not as nice as Faith's, but still very nice.

Marian turns back around to catch me staring at her ass. I take off my sunglasses, confident that my eyes are back to normal by now.

"Listen, Buffy..." She says low enough that I know Faith can't hear. "I'm flattered, I really am. But I just don't swing that way. I'm straight."

I make a show of sighing disappointedly, but not for Faith. "Damn. The hot ones never are."

"Sorry." She whispers.

"Well, hey, would you do me a favor?"

"What favor?" She asks, curiously.

"Would you mind keeping up appearances or something? I don't know, flirt with me or something?"

She looks at me knowingly. "Brunette in the back? Denim jacket?"

I smile. "Yeah. Good eye."

"Stalker ex-girlfriend?"

"Au contraire, Marian. Actually, it's a bit of a long story, but here's the really, _really_ short version: I like her, and I know she likes me, too, and we've told each other that, but she's not willing to take a chance on a relationship with me. Again, long story."

"And you just want to make her see what she's missing?" She concludes.

"Pretty much." I agree.

"Okay." Marian smiles again, then leans against the counter as she hands me my glass.

"Thanks." I say, for more than the water.

She nods in understanding.

"So, where are you from?" She asks, looking over my shoulder. I look in the mirror behind her and see that Faith has moved two booths closer to us, listening in on our conversation now.

"Oh, here and there. I lived in LA most of my life, but then my parents got a divorce, so my mom and I moved to a small town north of LA."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Divorce sucks. My parents got divorced when I was ten, myself."

"I was fifteen, sixteen years old." I say. "I was going through a lot of trouble at school, and I guess it took a toll on them, especially since they were already having trouble. Anyway, my mom and I moved to Sunnydale, California." Marian freezes.

"Wait, Sunnydale?"

"Yeah... why?"

"I had some family lived there just before it caved in. Who knew about that big sinkhole, right?"

"Yeah... Who knew..." I'm on edge now, and I can feel Faith on edge, too. "Anyway, now I live down in Dallas, Texas." I explain.

"Oh yeah? Prefer big cities, do you?"

"Yeah. I'm actually kind of a local celebrity there."

"Oh yeah? What do you do?"

"I'm a fighter. I do professional MMA fighting at this fight club."

"Huh. Wouldn't have pegged you for a fighter."

I frown. "Why not?" I can hear Faith's snicker from here.

"I'm sorry, I... I didn't mean to offend you, if I did. It's just... You just seem more like... You seem more... feminine... than masculine."

Faith snickers again, and I'm not sure if it's because she agrees or disagrees.

"Hey, I may be feminine, but it doesn't mean I don't know how to kick ass."

Marian puts her hands up in surrender.

"Okay, I'm sorry. So, you're a fighter?"

"Yeah. Nearly undefeated champion, in fact. I've only lost once."

If she was surprized that I'm a fighter, the shock on her face now is ten times worse.

"Wait... don't tell me... Brunette, denim jacket?" she whispers so Faith can't hear, and even with Slayer hearing, I don't think she did.

"What?"

"The only fight you've lost?"

Now I'm surprized. "Uh... yeah... How'd you-?"

"Please, I've seen enough movies to know how "coincidences" work. So... is that _why_...?"

I think for a minute before I realize what she's talking about.

"No. Truth is, we've known each other for years. I mean _years_. And... I've liked her the whole time, and she's liked me the whole time. But then, five years ago is when I moved to Dallas, and we lost touch with each other then, so these past couple days are the first we've actually seen each other in five years."

"And what, you just picked up where you left off?"

"Oh no. Right now, we're not exactly getting along. We're more "acquaintances" than friends right now. Her words, not mine." And just like that, I feel the tears starting to rise again, but I fight them down.

And then I realize that we're no longer whispering, and Faith just heard every word we said. Faith is sitting back in her original booth, tense as hell. Her plate is empty now, so she's just sitting there, her feet propped up in the chair across from her.

"Look, thanks for listening, and thanks for the water." I say to Marian.

"Yeah, it's okay." Marian goes back to work, and I grab my water and carry it over to a booth beside the one Faith is occupying.

"Really, B?" Faith growls. "I get that you're mad at me, but do ya really have to go out of your way to avoid me?"

I sigh. "Faith, just shut up, okay?" I say back. I keep the bitterness out of my voice, so it doesn't sound like an attack, and that makes Faith recoil. "Look, I just need to keep as much space between us as I can for as long as I can. You already said you're not going to take a risk like that with me. I'm trying really hard to accept that, but it's going to take time. And yes, I am mad at you. Hell, I'm downright pissed at you. But that's not why I'm trying to avoid you. I'm avoiding you because any time I'm near you, I hurt. I hurt because I want _nothing_ more than I want to be with you, but I know I can't. I hurt because of one single word you said to me."

"Acquaintances." Faith guesses, though it's not really a guess, because she doesn't even really need to guess.

"Yes. Acquaintances. Everything you've said tome since we met again has hurt me, but that one word hurt worse than everything else put together. Because it felt like you were saying you want nothing to do with me."

"Come on, B. That's ridiculous."

"Is it? I mean, you know how I feel about you, and you say you feel the same way, but you refuse to act on it. You say if I'd asked you to come with me five years ago that you'd have dropped everything and left with me. You say that if I'd asked you to be mine five years ago, then you'd have been mine this whole time. I love you, Faith. I love you more than anything in the world, or any other worlds in any dimensions. I've been to Heaven, Faith. I've been to the real deal. And if I had the choice, I'd give up Heaven all over again if I thought that you and me could have a future together, because as much as I loved being in Heaven, I love you even more. I love you more than I ever loved Angel, or Riley. But you... you say you love me, but you call us nothing more than acquaintances."

"What about you, B?"

"What _about_ me?" Now the bitterness is creeping into both of our voices.

"I could say the same things about you, B."

"What?! No, I _never_ used the word "acquaintances" to describe us! Not out loud, not in my head, not in my heart!"

"B, I've already told you how I feel. You say you love me, and how you want to try and have some kinda relationship with me, but for as long as I've known you, you've been pushin' me away. There was a brief period of time when we had somethin' close to real friendship, maybe even a possible relationship. But when I first showed up in Sunny-D, granted, we pushed each other away, but that was probably just the attraction to each other actin' up. Neither of us had ever been attracted to a girl before, and then all of a sudden, we were both attracted to each other. But then, things got better, B. I actually kind of held out hope that maybe I could have somethin' with ya. And I never hoped for that with anyone before. Yeah, I'm the first move type, but that doesn't mean you can't make the first move instead, ya know. But then, all at once, things went to the crapper. I made a mistake, and you still won't let it go, no matter how hard I try to make up for it."

"Faith, I don't _care_ that you killed a man. Not anymore. And let's not forget that you pushed me away first. Once Gwendolyn Post was... transferred..." I have to use other words than what I really mean, because of the very public area we're in right now. "As soon as she was gone, you started pushing me away again. You refused to trust me. Maybe if you'd have just trusted me, things would have turned out differently."

"Oh, I don't have a doubt in my mind that things woulda been different if I'd trusted you. But point is, I didn't. Doesn't matter now. But once I accidentally killed Finch, everythin' was shot to hell."

"You tried to blame it on me!" I hiss.

"See? You still won't let that go. When I did that, you pushed me away. I could understand it then, but I tried to reach out to you after that. I tried to help you guys out by joinin' the Mayor, figurin' I might be able to get some inside info on him and pass it along to ya, but you would never hear me out. Then, you just burst into my apartment and tried to kill me."

"You poisoned Angel."

"I gave him a low dose. If you guys woulda waited a bit longer, then his body woulda fought it off on its own. I told you that in the note I attached to the arrow when I shot him."

"There was no note. Just the arrow that went straight through his heart."

"It wasn't wood. I knew it wouldn't kill him. But what do you mean there was no note? I attached it to the arrow before I even fit it to the string."

"There was no note, Faith."

Faith curses under her breath. "Fine. Then I guess it fell off or somethin'. You never got the note. My point is, I wasn't tryin' to kill Angel. I was only tryin' to make it look like I was. For the Mayor's sake, ya know. Last thing I expected was for you to barge into my apartment and attack me."

"You tried to kill me."

"No, I was tryin' to defend myself. You wouldn't give me enough time to explain myself. I wanted _out_, B. That's what I was tryin' to tell you. I was tryin' to tell you that I was really just spyin' on the Mayor for you guys, and that I wanted out. That I wanted back in with the group. I was gonna help you guys _beat_ him. But if you'd have just let me speak, then I wouldn't have ended up in a fuckin' coma for eight months. Eight months that I coulda spent gettin' everythin' back to the way it was, and maybe even makin' things better between you and me, maybe started that relationship we both wanted back then. But then I woke up, and you already had someone new. It hurt, but you know, whatever. From your perspective, I was still just an evil bitch, so I could understand that. Then, when I show up at your house, you try to kill me all over again."

"You were holding my mom hostage."

Faith throws her hands up in surrender. "Look, whatever, B. You want me to be the bad guy, fine. I'll be the bad guy. You happy? It's all my fault that we can't be together. 'Cause you never did anything wrong. You never made any mistakes."

"I didn't say that."

"Okay, then. Your mistakes were all small, insignificant ones, right?"

"No. I mean... I left..."

"That's right. You left, B. I didn't. You did. We were finally buildin' things back up again, trustin' each other again. We were almost back to bein' friends, and then who knows what coulda come from that. But instead of warnin' me, or even leavin' a fuckin' _note_...!" Faith fights down her own tears, then shakes her head. She stands up abruptly, walks up to the counter and pays for my water and her meal. I look around and see everyone in the rest stop staring at me.

Sighing, I stand up and follow Faith out of the diner.

She's waiting for me outside, sitting on the hood of her car.

I walk over to her and sit down on the window ledge on the building across from her.

"You didn't warn me you were leaving. You didn't call. You didn't text. You didn't even leave a note. You just _left_." Faith says softly, and I can smell the saltiness of her tears from here. I don't say anything. She needs to get this out. "You never told anyone. You never even _hinted_ to anyone that you were gonna leave. You just _left_ me. We were the only ones who could ever understand each other, and you just threw that away. You didn't just leave, you left _me_. I've got friends. I've got co-workers. I've got acquaintances. I've got plenty of all of those. But ever since you left... I've felt so... alone. This whole time, I've been lookin' for you, hopin' that once I found you, everythin' would be alright, everythin' would make sense again. We could be together finally. But instead, I'm more confused than ever. And only once I finally find you do I finally realize how bad you really hurt me. You say you're hurtin' 'cause I won't take a chance with you, but you really have no idea how badly you hurt me when you left with no warnin' or explanation. And that's _why_ I won't take a chance.

"But right now, we need to set everythin' else aside, and act like it's five years ago, and we're finally startin' to trust each other again. 'Cause the world needs savin', and only we have the strength and world-savin' experience needed to pull this off. Which means we're gonna need to be able to work together."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

_Smack!_ I cup my cheek. It's warm now. Since when does Willow hit that hard? I turn back to face her, and she's glaring at me angrily.

"Whoa, Red, just calm down, okay?" Faith says, but it's half-hearted.

We got into Cleveland late last night, and Faith snuck me up to her room so I could get a good night's sleep before I faced the wrath of the Scooby Gang today. It's a good thing, too, because I was feeling testy after we discovered that Marian, the woman from the diner, was actually a Slayer. We stuck around town two days ago, after eating at the diner. We figured we could use some time to get a little more comfortable with each other, or else we wouldn't be the most effective team in the world. So, Faith and I just hung out all day that day, and into the night.

We were getting ready to head to a motel and get a room when we felt vampire activity in the area, so we jumped out of the car and headed down the nearest dark alley. What we saw when we got there, however, was Marian already finishing off what we found out was the last in a group of five vampires.

So, we stayed with her that night, and headed for Cleveland, with her accompanying us, first thing in the morning.

So the discovery that I had been flirting with another Slayer that day kind of got me feeling a bit testy, and I don't even know why.

"Calm down?" Willow snaps at Faith. "How can you tell me to just "calm down"?!"

"Like this. Calm down, Red."

Willow growls, and Faith throws her hands up in surrender. "Whatever, Red. Just... Try not to kill her too much, okay? We might need her if we're gonna fight off the army of demons that's gonna be attackin' Cleveland soon." That gives Willow pause, and she turns back to Faith.

"What?"

"Yeah. Slayer dream few nights ago. Me and B both had it. Cleveland's gonna be hit. And it's gonna be hit hard. And in the dream... they've already won."

Willow looks back at me and snarls angrily. "Fine."

"Alright. You give her a talkin' to or whatever, I'm gonna go see G-man and tell him what we saw." Faith says, walking away. I look at Willow and smile sheepishly.

"Hey Will... how's it going?"

"Don't." Willow says angrily, closing her eyes and putting her hand up. "Don't try it, Buffy. I'm mad at you, okay? And if you start talking to me, then that madness is going to go away, because I can't stay mad at you for very long, and right now, I just want to stay mad for a while."

"I could really use an ally right now, Wills." I beg her.

"I said don't!" She snaps, but her anger is already fading. Willow is the type of person who can almost _never_ carry a grudge, and I'm glad to see that that's still holding true. I can only think of two people she's ever held a grudge for long against: Faith, and Warren Mears. Warren Mears killed Tara, and Willow killed him back. Faith, however... Obviously, Willow's gotten over that grudge.

But me? Willow could never hold a real grudge against me, and I'm glad to see it.

"Come on, Will... Please don't be mad?"

She groans, but still manages to hold on to a bit of her anger.

"No! I'm _mad_, damn it! I'm _mad_!"

"Willow, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry I left, and I'm especially sorry I left without even warning all of you guys."

Willow sighs. "Yeah... Okay... I'm sorry for hitting you."

"Don't be." I smile. "I mean, I deserved it."

"You barely even felt it, didn't you?"

"Actually, it really stung. When did you become a Slayer?"

Willow looks at me in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, DAMN! That actually really hurt. The entire right side of my face is numb now."

"Really?" Willow looks proud of herself, so I can't help but smile.

"Yeah!" I say, and she grins. "Well, I have been working out lately. I lost a bet with Kennedy, so she made me go to the gym for a month as punishment, 'cause you know Kennedy, she's all about the working out, and I just never stopped going! I actually feel really good about myself!"

"That's great, Will." I say genuinely.

"Buffy."

I turn around to face the owner of the voice that hasn't changed much at all since I last heard it. Still kind of gruff, but strong. It tells anyone who hears it that he knows more than most people twice his age. It emanates experience, like he's seen the deepest pits of Hell and lived to tell the tale. Probably because he has.

"Xander..." I say, but he shakes his head. He's no longer wearing an eyepatch over his left eye. Instead, he has a new eye completely, but it was different from his other eye. Instead of his usual deep brown color, he had almost a gray-green iris in his left eye. That color... I recognize it somehow... Where have I seen-?

I stop myself in my thoughts, and I look back at Willow. Sure enough, her eyes are the same gray-green as Xander's new left eye.

"Told you she'd see it right away." Willow grins at Xander. I turn back to him.

"Does... Does it actually work?"

Xander nods. His anger breaks up a little, but not much. Xander is the opposite of Willow in every way. Unlike Willow, Xander is more than capable of carrying a grudge.

"Yeah. It works. Willow fixed it up for me. My right eye is stronger than ever 'cause it had to compensate for the loss of my left one, and since my left eye is enchanted now, I've got better than 20/20 vision. More like 40/40. Helps a lot when I'm out at night, patrolling. _Slaying_."

I look down at the ground, unable to meet his eyes.

"Xander, I'm-"

"Don't, Buffy. Just don't. Willow may not be able to stay mad at anyone for long, you may be able to charm your way back up to her, but it doesn't work like that with me. I got no problem staying mad at you for abandoning us."

"I get that, but-"

"I said don't, Buffy." Xander snaps, losing his monotone for a minute. He clears his throat, then returns to monotone. "Look, it's good to have you back and all, 'cause I overheard Faith talking to Giles about that dream you two apparently shared. The one where demons take over Cleveland. Chances are, whatever's coming, we're going to need all the help we can get, and we all know you have the experience when it comes to beating back apocalypses. But don't think you're going to just waltz back into our lives and pick up where we all left off like nothing happened. Like you didn't just leave us without a word. If we hadn't had to fight off the annual apocalypse without you for the last five years, then maybe, just maybe, we could all sit down and talk things out, and everything go back to being alright. But we have. You have no idea what all of us have been through while you were off having fun, doing whatever the hell it was you were doing. No idea."

That was the thing about Xander. If he wasn't happy, he let it be known. He almost never raised his voice, and he really never got violent when he was mad. His anger was more of a calm rage than a violent hurricane. But it was all the more potent.

"Well... you could fill me in... maybe..." I suggest. "I mean... It won't make things right, but... I'd like to know what you guys have had to fight off without me... What did I put you through?"

Xander nods slightly, still angry, but he sees my point. "Not even a month after you left, this sorceror type of person showed up. Somehow, he had gained the power to turn back time..."

Over the next hour or so, Willow and Xander filled me in on everything they'd gone through in my absence, and by the end of the conversation, it was like we were all just back to being old friends. Xander warmed up to me again, it seemed, and even threw in a few jokes, like old times. The only difference is that his jokes are actually funny now.

But then Faith shows up, and her attitude rubs off on Xander again, and he's back to being cold towards me.

"Hey, B. Giles says whenever ya got a minute, he wants to see ya." Faith says awkwardly. I nod, but don't say a word as she starts leading me to Giles' office.

...

Big surprise, Giles' office is filled to the brim with books. His walls have been completely covered with bookcases, all of which were filled with books, with several stacks of books almost as tall as me that just couldn't fit on the shelves.

"Hey, Giles, you missed a few books." I say, pointing to the stacks, hoping to break the ice when I walk in.

"Oh. Yes. I'm having more bookcases built as of now, actually." He says coldly. So much for breaking the ice.

"I'll just leave you two to it, then." Faith says, turning to walk away.

"That won't be necessary, Faith, please, sit." Giles gestures to the seat next to me. Faith shrugs, indifferent, then sits down next to me. Much to my surprise, Giles doesn't even glare at Faith when she props her feet up on his desk.

"Now, Buffy, Faith has told me what she saw in the dream you two shared. The one where the Hellmouth was taken over by an army of demons." He clarifies, and I wonder why he felt the need to clarify. Did he know about the... _other_ dreams Faith and I shared? I look over at Faith, and one look tells me she was thinking the same thing. "But I was wondering if there are any other details you could possibly provide. Things that, normally, Faith wouldn't pay attention to. You know, just to offer a different perspective of things."

I shrug. "What, like, what did the demons have for breakfast?"

Giles glares at me. "That's not remotely amusing, Buffy, do try to take this seriously. A Slayer dream has just prophesied an army of demons taking control of the Hellmouth."

I stare at Giles. I knew he'd be mad at me for leaving. I expected this. But not _this_. This is ten times worse than I thought it would be. It's almost as bad as it was at first with Faith, and she's _in love with me_.

"Sorry." I apologize, and not just for not taking this seriously. I try to fit how sorry I am about _everything_ into that one word. But it just isn't good enough for Giles.

"Yes well, it will take more than merely apologizing to correct this. You're going to have to get serious, Buffy. That's enough quips and jokes and enough playing around. It's time to work."

"I know, and that's what I'm here for. I'm here to help."

"Jeez, can you guys say subtext?" Faith asks, and I look over at Faith.

"That's quite enough out of you as well, Faith." Giles snaps, and Faith stands up, angry.

"Hey now, G. Don't be blamin' _me_ for all this."

"Will you _sit down_, Faith?!"

"Maybe I don't wanna sit down, G! Maybe I wanna be able to look you in the eye when you tell me what the hell your problem is!"

"Whoa, guys!" I stand up, separating them. "What, is it _always_ like this?!" Faith scowls as she sits down.

"Lately, pretty much, yeah." Faith confirms, pulling out her knife and starting to sharpen it.

"I must concur. We haven't all been the poster for friendship as of late." Giles growls, still staring at Faith.

"Well, what happened that got you all like this?" I ask, genuinely curious.

They fall silent for a while.

Giles collects himself and sits down. I sit back down, too, and wait for one of them to answer me.

Neither of them do.

"In any case, back to the topic at hand." Giles says. "What kind of demons were they, do you know?"

"Looked like all kinds of demons to me." I say, giving in. "I mean, we're talking the whole nine yards. Tentacles, claws, talons, slithering, hands, paws, fangs, horns, shells, gills, wings. You name it, it was there. Transparent, translucent, opaque, mammal, reptile, bird. I saw a bit of everything. And I mean _everything_. Except for one thing."

"And what might that be?"

"Humans. I didn't see anything that even remotely looked like a human, besides Faith."

"Gee, thanks, B. Glad to know I qualify as "remotely human"." Faith scoffs.

"That's not what I meant, Faith." I sigh.

"Yeah? Then what _did_ you mean?"

"I meant-"

"Girls, that's enough. We have a job to do, so let's just bloody well do it, shall we?" Giles snaps.

This is gonna be a looooooooong day.

...

After I got done in Giles' office, Faith took me back to my room. The only other person who hasn't gotten her word in on me is Dawn, and she's out of town on Watcher business. She's supposed to be picking up another Slayer who's just come into her powers, so it'll be tomorrow night before she gets in.

"Well, guess I'll see ya later, then, B." Faith says as she starts to walk away.

"Faith, wait." I say, and she turns back around slowly.

"Yeah?"

"Um... you wanna... come in?" I ask, nodding to my room. She hesitates.

"Probably better not, B. I got... stuff..."

"Come on, Faith. Just for a while. I mean, I think there's beer in the fridge. Just come in and have a beer or two."

Faith hesitates, looking around before she gives in and walks inside with me.

I walk to the miniature kitchen and pull two beers out of the fridge, tossing one to Faith, which she catches with one hand while she closes the door. She pops the can open and takes a sip.

"Dawn, that hit the spot." She said. "Ain't had a drink since that night at your place before we left."

"Which is probably because you were the one driving, so I'm thankful for that fact." Faith shrugged and took another drink.

"Yeah, well..."

"So..." I begin, and she waits for me to continue, sitting down on the couch and crossing her legs out in front of herself, relaxing. "Why all the tension between you and Giles? I mean, yeah, you two aren't exactly each other's biggest fans, but I thought, last time I saw you, you two were at least becoming comfortable around each other again."

Faith shrugged again.

"It was just a difference in opinion, B. Do me a favor and let it go. It'll sort itself out on its own, given enough time. And if it doesn't, oh well." She takes a long drink of her beer. I let it go for now and sit in a chair across from her. I finally open my own beer and take a sip, grimacing at the taste.

Faith smirks. "Damn, B. Just when I thought you'd loosened up about alcohol."

"No, it's not that, it's just... God, what _is_ this? I've actually grown to enjoy a beer now and then, but _this?_ This is _not_ beer."

Faith chuckles at that. "Yeah. It's non-alcoholic, too. So not only does it taste like shit, it doesn't even fuck you up in the head to make you _think_ it tastes good. G doesn't want any real alcohol anywhere near here. Too much of a chance of one of the younger ones gettin' hold of it, and after what happened last time a few of 'em got wasted, none of us really wanna take that chance, either."

"What happened last time?"

"Group of younger Slayers, 'bout fourteen, fifteen years old, decided that they wanted to try it out, see what the fuss was about, and they got completely hammered, right? So, they all went out on patrol that night, just patrollin' the streets to pick off the occasional vamp that wanted to take the risk of venturin' outside of the cemetery, and they mistook a mugger for a vamp. They completely destroyed him, man, I'm tellin' ya. Didn't kill him, 'cause one of 'em sobered up enough to see he was human, but the guy ended up in the hospital for damn near half a year. Only reason they didn't end up in jail was 'cause the girl they saved from him testified that they were just protectin' her. But we didn't wanna take that chance anymore, so the no alcohol on premises rule was put into play. Bet you wouldn't believe me if I said that I actually voted _for_ that rule."

I am surprised, but I actually _do_ believe her. "Actually, I don't find that so hard to believe."

Faith raised an eyebrow. "Yeah? Why's that?"

"Well, because you're not the same person as that stupid teenage Faith you used to be. The Faith that used to go out and get drunk every night, and find some guy to bring home and ride until you made it to your climax, then kick him to the curb. You've learned from your mistakes. And I believe that you'd do everything you can to keep others from making the same mistakes." I look into her eyes meaningfully, and I can tell she knows what I'm talking about.

"Finch." She says in understanding.

"Those girls got lucky that they stopped before they killed him. And with this rule about no alcohol, it's less likely that any of them will ever encounter their own Finch."

Faith rolls her eyes. "Knew you'd never let that go." She sighs, standing up. "Thanks for the beer, B, but, like I said, I've got... stuff..." She starts to walk away, downing the last of her non-alcoholic beer.

"Faith, don't go." I say. "Look, I'm not holding Finch against you, okay? I'm not. You just think I am because you still haven't forgiven _yourself_ for it. I don't think you _want_ me to forgive you for Finch, because, somewhere in that mind of yours, you still believe you should be punished for it." That gets her to stop where she stands. She doesn't reply, or turn to look at me, she just stands there.

"Maybe you're right, B. Maybe I _haven't_ forgiven myself for it. But it would be easier to forgive myself if people weren't bringin' it up every damn day, like they're rubbin' it in. 'Gee Faith, you've killed people, human beings. That makes you no better than the demons we kill. Why should we listen to you? _I _haven't killed a human being.' I get the fuckin' point. If people would stop bringin' it up, then maybe I _could _move on and start forgivin' myself. But since they won't stop, I can't stop beatin' myself up about it. I see his face every fuckin' night. Not the other guy, the guy I actually _meant_ to kill, 'cause the Mayor told me to, Finch. The accidental one. The one I only killed 'cause I didn't realize he wasn't a vampire 'til it was too late. The one I _shouldn't_ be beatin' myself up about, 'cause it wasn't really my fault, right? Wrong. It _was_ my fault. If I wasn't always so 'Do whatever the hell I want, 'cause I'm the fuckin' _Chosen One_', then I would've been payin' better attention, and I wouldn't have killed him, B." Faith is in tears now, and she has to sit down on my bed to stabilize herself.

"Faith, that could've been either of us. Either one of us could've killed Finch. We were both running on adrenaline."

"Yeah, the only difference is I made the choice to not trust you enough to help me out. Biggest mistake of my life. I was freakin' out, and you were the level-headed one of us about it. You were tryin' to help me out, and I was tryin' to drag you down with me. If it had been you, then you'd have owned up to it, gone through whatever therapy you needed to to get over the trauma, then you'd have been fine about it, and we'd have spent the rest of our Sunnydale Slayer careers fightin' evil side by side. But no, it happened to me, and I made the stupidest judgement call of my life."

"Faith, I know what you mean."

"No you don't, B. How could you?"

"Actually I do." It's my turn to shed some tears now, and Faith looks at me through narrow eyes like "Yeah right, B, whatever."

"Yeah? How's that?"

"I've accidentally killed someone, too."

Faith's eyes grow wide for a second before she narrows them again.

"Whatever."

"Believe what you wanna believe. It's true. It's how I ended up a club fighter in the first place."

That gets her attention. "Yeah? What happened?"

I take a deep breath and close my eyes as I remember that night, four and a half years ago.

_ ..._

_ I'm walking down the street that night, heading to find a bar to get drunk in. I still don't like alcohol, but these past few months, it's helped dull the pain. The pain of knowing I'll never see Faith again, except in my dreams. I do odd jobs for people. Some people need someone to beat up some stalker, or to fend off a mugger or two they know is waiting for them on their way home. I just got paid a decent amount, two hundred bucks for sending a stalker away. I plan on spending at least a quarter of that getting drunk. The rest is going into my gas tank and getting some food._

_ I've lost weight these past months, because I can't really afford to buy groceries, and I wouldn't have anywhere to put them if I could. I feel weak for a Slayer, but I'm still stronger and faster than most humans. And the alcohol doesn't help. At least, not with that. It does dull the pain for a while, though. And that's what I'm looking for right now._

_ But then, I hear a call for help. Instantly, I feel like one of those cheesy superheroes in the comic books, and I just saw the big white bubble with "HELP!" in all caps inside._

_ It's something I know I'll never get over. The thrill of the slay, the pleasure I feel watching a demon burst into flames, or a vampire turn to dust. And the temporary feeling of satisfaction in knowing you just saved a human life, or more. That feeling used to last longer, but it's still a break from the pain of running away from home. From my family. From Faith._

_ But this time it's different. _

_ This time, when I get to the scene of the attack, I see that it's a human attacker with the human victim. And he's got a knife. _

_ "Gimme your money!" The mugger is screaming at the guy screaming on the ground, clutching his arm, which has already been cut._

_ I don't want to fight a human. I don't fight humans. I look around for anyone, anyone at all who could put a stop to this, but once again I see nothing but the cruelty of passersby, willing to _let_ this guy die, just so they won't have to put themselves in danger._

_ And _these_ are the people I've died _twice_ to protect? These are the people that teenage girls like me are called to protect for the rest of their lives? These are the _innocent_ people that young girls are dying to protect every... damn... night?_

_ I grow angry at the thought, knowing that once again, it's going to have to be _me_ to protect the "innocent". Because it's not that humans are incapable of defending themselves, it's that they're not _willing_ to help protect _each other_._

_ "Leave him alone." I say, letting my anger rise. I know that he's not going to leave, he's just going to laugh at me. I'm just some stupid blonde trying to make world peace, and he's the big bad man with a knife. I know that it's not going to work to get him to change his ways, but I'm certainly not going to throw the first punch. Whether or not I believe they deserve protecting, it's in my nature to try and protect people, not hurt them. So if I'm going to fight this guy, he's going to make the first move, and my fight will be in self-defense._

_ Just like I expected, the mugger just laughs, and the man he's attacking looks at me in fear, begging me to help him. The strength of Man, everybody. Looking to a seemingly weak, frail, defenseless little blonde woman to save him. I just roll my eyes and keep my attention on the mugger._

_ "What are you gonna do about it, lady? Gonna flash me your breasts to death? Think I'll bleed out through my nose?" He laughs out loud._

_ "Look, guy, when I woke up this morning, I didn't expect to find myself in this position. I just thought it would be a day just like any other. I'd get up, find someone to pay me to do some job for them today, I'd go to a bar tonight, get wasted, maybe find some girl to hook up with tonight, and start all over again tomorrow, feeling shitty about yet another one-night stand, and battling a raging hangover, but toughing it all out so I could do it all over again. But no, instead, here I am, fixing to beat the ever living daylights out of some guy who thinks he's all that 'cause he has a knife, when I could be drowning my sorrows in my third bottle of Jack right about now. So, we can do this the hard way. You can charge me, try and rob me, wound me, or even kill me with that knife, thinking, once I'm begging for my life, you might even try and rape me. But let me tell you how that option's going to work out for you. It isn't. _

_ "You'll come at me and either try to cut me or stab me. I'll catch your wrist and twist until you drop the knife, then I'll bring you to your knees. I'll kick you in the face, breaking your nose, then I'll take your knife and hold it to your throat. I'll threaten you, saying something along the lines of 'If I ever catch you trying something this stupid again, I'll use your knife to slit your throat.' Like the 'big, tough, strong man' you are, you'll beg me for your life and run away screaming like a little girl when I let you go, then the three of us will all go about our business, but it'll be too late for me to go get drunk, because even if I can find some bar still open, I won't have enough time inside to get drunk because I have a high alcohol tolerance. Plus, all of the hot girls I might be interested in sleeping with are probably already either taken or have given up on the night and headed home._

_ "So that's option one. Option two is: You nod without another word, you put the knife away, help that poor man to his feet, dust him off, and we all just go on about our business without me having to humiliate you, break your wrist and nose and threaten you, and I might have enough time to get a slight buzz going before last call."_

_ The men both look at me like I'm insane, but I've given the mugger his two options. He shakes his head, and takes option one._

_ He charges me, thrusting his knife out to stab me. It happens just like I said, to a point. _

_ I catch his wrist and twist it slightly, making him drop his knife, and I yank down on his arm. He's caught by surprise, and he yelps in pain as his knees hit the ground. I twist slightly and throw my right leg up to kick him in the face, and blood starts gushing out of his broken nose immediately._

_ But that's where my prediction veers off._

_ The kick satisfied me too much, and it felt good, so I kick him again, figuring what's one more kick? One kick would discourage him from continuing with this tonight. But two? Two Slayer strength kicks would probably discourage him from doing it again for a long time._

_ But that kick satisfies me even more, and I know now that it's not just because I'm protecting a human, it's because I despise humanity now. Humans are weak, and not just physically, but spiritually. They're so easily corrupted. I realise now that I see them as inferior even to vampires. Vampires and demons are pure evil, but they know they're evil, and they admit it freely. Humans are evil, but they hide behind the mask of righteousness._

_ Humans are weak, and that's why I'm feeling more and more satisfies every time I kick or punch this insect. He's trying to crawl away from me now, begging for his life, weeping. I can't stop. I can't seem to stop myself, even when I come to my senses. _

This is a human, Buffy, not a demon. He may deserve it, but it's not up to you to decide that._ I think to myself. _You can't do this. You shouldn't do this. He's human, Buffy. He's human. He's HUMAN!_ But as much as I try to stop, I can't. I'm crying now, trying desperately to stop, knowing I'm killing him. But it just feels so good. He _does_ deserve it. It's just such a big relief to finally take out my anger and frustrations on _something_. To hurt something as much as I'm hurting. _

Now I know what Faith must have felt when she-

_ And that thought is what snaps me out of it. Immediately, I stop myself, and I put my foot down on the ground before I can kick him again._

_ But the damage is done. Horrified, I reach down slowly and check him for a pulse. There's none. The color is already draining away, and in the cold air, his body is losing its heat even faster. He's dead. I collapse to the ground and begin to sob. I just killed a human. _I _ just killed a human. I just _killed_ a human. I just killed a _human.

_No matter how I think it, what word I put emphasis on, it doesn't feel real. But it feels too real at the same time. And what's even worse than the knowledge of what I just did is the fact that I _enjoyed_ it. It felt _good_._

...

Faith is silent after I finish telling her all about it.

"So. What snapped you outta that rage was thinkin' you were gonna end up like me, huh?" Faith asks bitterly.

I don't try to deny it. "Yes." Faith jerks up to look at me in surprise, and anger. "I admit, even then, even though I knew then that I was in love with you, I still held Finch's murder on you. And I'd be lying if I said that I forgave you for it once I finally truly realised that it could happen to anyone. In fact, I hated you evenmore after that, because I thought it was because of my love for you that made me act like that. But that was four and a half years ago. I still haven't forgiven myself for killing that man, whether he deserved it or not. But I want you to know that I _do_ forgive _you_. Because I know now, and have known for the past almost five years, that it could have happened to anyone. I don't blame you for Finch. Besides, I'm the one who threw Finch at you, anyway. If I hadn't done that, you wouldn't have had the chance to kill him. I don't hold that on you anymore. Because I understand now."

Faith is dumbstruck after hearing my speech.

"I... I don't know what to say, B." She says finally.

"Don't say anything then." I say. "You don't have to say anything. You just have to forgive yourself. Just like I still have to forgive myself."

"So... What happened after... you know?" She asks after about five minutes' of silence.

"Well, the guy I saved came up to me and said that not only did I totally just kick ass and made it look easy, but I looked hot doing it. He gave me his card and offered me a job at his friend's Fight Club, and offered to be my agent. I felt too weak and vulnerable to get mad at him for it, so I just let him slip the card in under my bra, and he just left. It took me three days of starving and not going anywhere or doing anything to finally realise that I needed to get out and earn some money so I could survive. So, I called him up, said it was a one time thing only, that I just wanted to make some easy money, then I'd be on my way. Didn't work out that way, though. When I was fighting, I felt that same satisfaction that I did in the alley, but this time, I managed to restrain myself enough to only knock her unconscious. But after that, I was hooked. I just kept coming back for more and more. Next thing I know, I'm no longer feeling the satisfaction, but I keep coming anyway, because the pay is decent, and I need the money. Then, I'm pretty much rich and don't need the money anymore, but I keep coming back anyway because it's just something to do with my time.

"Next thing I know, five years have gone by, and the pain, the regret of leaving you I've worked so hard to forget comes rushing back to me when I finally have you in my life again, and I realise exactly how much I actually _missed_ that pain. Because the pain was what kept me human, kept me from going insane. And yet, having you this close to me right now, knowing that you're mad at me, and that we might never have what we once did, let alone anything more than that, it's driving me insane. And I _must _be insane, because here I am, begging you to stay close to me, so that I can be near you again."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

"You're not insane, B. I know what you mean. It hurts me to be around you, too. And yet, every fuckin' mornin' since we met up again... I swear the first fuckin' thought in my mind is always about you. Sometimes good, sometimes bad, but always about you."

I look at her in surprise for a while, then decide I've had enough of this topic, so I just nod in understanding, then change the subject.

"So what's with all the hostility around here?" I ask.

"Buffy, you know-"

"No,I get why everyone's pissed at _me_... But why's everyone pissed at each other? I mean, you and Giles looked like you both wanted to slit each other's throats, which, even after everything that happened with the Mayor, Giles still never actually wanted to _kill_ you. So why now?"

"You really wanna know?"

"Yeah. Why? Why were you and Giles at each other's throats earlier? Specifically that one."

Faith sighs. "It was a difference in opinion. A big one. Happened about a year and a half ago..."

"What was it?"

Faith sighed. "He gave up... He just gave up."

"Gave up on what?"

"You. He just gave up on finding you one day. Woke up and just decided to stop lookin'. No one else wanted to stop. We were all still hopin' that you'd turn up somewhere, so it pissed us off the Giles was just givin' up, especially since he was the one that controlled the resources goin' towards the search. He said that lookin' for you was a waste of time, and that we were gonna stop. I disagreed, sayin' that we should at least all take a vote on it. It was Giles against everyone else, but he still cut the resources. So, we had to start lookin' for you on our own time, and even then, only with our eyes. We had to hope we'd just run into you one day. Finally, I got tired of it. Others started givin' up, too, sayin' that if we couldn't find you in three and a half years, even with all of the old Watcher's Council resources, plus the new ones we have now, with the Slayer Organization, we had no chance of ever findin' you without them. I got fed up with his attitude, and I let him know how I felt about it. Several times. Then, one day, we just started shoutin' at each other. He'd been drinkin' for some reason, so he was a lot more aggressive, and it turned into a fist fight. I won, of course, and I only hit him once, but it was enough. We haven't gotten along since. I hoped that, with you back in the picture, at least for now, that he'd loosen up a bit and we could at least get back to bein' co-workers or somethin', but if anythin', he can stand me even less."

"So... You never gave up on looking for me?"

Faith is silent.

"Faith?"

"No. Not until... Not until about a month ago."

"What happened?"

"I was... I was on assignment in the Amazon, 'cause we got intel that a little tribe of demon worshippers was plannin' on raisin' some kinda apocalypse type of demon, and rainin' hell down on the Earth, so me and a group of Slayers was sent down there to put a stop to it. Apparently, it was a trap, though. The truth was that it was one of those demons that fancied himself invincible, so he wanted to take down the Slayer Org. He sent the intel himself, knowin' that we'd send our best Slayers. He ende up killin' all but three of us. Me, Ken, and this Asian Slayer, named Satsu. He captured us and was gonna feed us to these cannibals, just 'cause he found it amusin'. He figured fifty humans would be enough to take down three Slayers, especially since we were tired and wounded. One thing he didn't count on, though, was how wicked Satsu was with a fuckin' sword."

"Wait... she didn't...?"

"No, no... But it turns out, a branch with the twigs broken off can be used like a sword. She ended up knockin', like, half of them out before they could even get close to us, then the three of us finished the rest of 'em off. Turned to the demon, and the three of us managed to kill him. But durin' that battle... I found myself lookin' around for ya, to see how you were doin'. Same thing I always do when I'm in the middle of a huge save-the-world battle. But this time, I finally let myself feel it."

"Feel what?" I whisper, though I know exactly what she's talking about.

"Anger. I finally admitted to myself that I was angry at you. That I wasn't just worried about where you were, like maybe you'd been captured or somethin', and you needed rescuin'. I realized that I knew all along that you hadn't been captured. You _left_. You saw your out, and you took it. And I hated you because of it. And I hated you even more because, even knowing that you just left, I still loved you. I gave up on looking for you then. Because I realised that I knew all along that you just didn't _want_ to be found. Giles tried to approach me after he heard that I'd abandoned my search, tried to reconcile with me and tell me that he thought I was makin' the right choice, but I just knocked him on his ass. You know... I never told anyone how I felt about ya. Kept it to myself all along. Tried to hide how much it was eatin' me up inside that you left. Finally, 'bout a week ago, Dawn called me on my shit. Came right up and told _me_ that I was in love with ya. Didn't ask, just told me. Said she was certain of it, that she didn't even need to ask if it was true. Then she came out and told me that she had another lead on where you might be. Said that no one else knew, and that it would be my choice whether or not to follow the lead. I resisted for about a day, but then... I had this dream. It was the most vivid one I'd ever had about you up until then. I decided the next day that I'd follow this one last lead, and if I didn't find ya, then that was it. No more."

"And you found me."

She nods. "Yeah, but not 'cause of the lead. The lead actually took me all the way down to Corpus Christie. Apparently, some blonde was seen fightin' off a bunch of water demons down there, so Dawn got word of it, and thought it might have been you. So, I went down to Corpus Christie, found the blonde, and sent her back here. I decided to stay the day there in Corpus Christie, 'cause I figured I needed somethin' of a break, to recharge a little before I headed back to HQ. Unfortunately, G had other plans, and he called me back immediately. I took the long way back, though, and decided to head through Dallas. Got there late at night, so I got a hotel room. Got bored, so I walked around a bit, found the Fight Club. I went in, figurin' I'd catch a fight or two, then I saw some chick callin' herself "The Slayer"."

I perk up at that.

"Yeah. I figured, well, Giles might be a little easier on me for comin' back late if I brought a new Slayer back with me. So, I stayed another day, and got myself a debut match against "The Slayer", thinkin' I'd see what she's got, maybe she actually was a Slayer. Imagine my surprise when I recognised the way the girl fought. It intrigued me a bit, so I accepted when she asked for a rematch. Then... The next night..."

"I won... And you found me..."

"Yeah. Go figure. The second we all give up on findin' ya, you just drop into my lap. Almost literally, which I actually kind of appreciated, by the way." Faith jokes, trying to play off how hurt she actually is."

"Faith..."

"Don't, B. You can charm your way up to Willow, and with a bit of time, you'll win over Xander and Giles, and Dawn... But don't think you can just waltz back into my life like nothin' happened. You left us all, but you know _damn _well it's different for me. They love you. I'm _in love_ with you. And yeah, I mean that in the present tense. But the time when we coulda been together, the time when we coulda been happy together, it's gone. It's over. So I'll play friendly, 'cause the truth is, we need you right now, if we're goin' to have any chance of beatin' back this army of demons. But once it's over, it's _over_. Once this is all over, either you crawl back to Dallas, back to your mansion, and your fight club, or I'll leave."

"Faith, you said we'd work on this!" I exclaim, tears in my eyes. "You said we could work towards being friends!"

"Yeah, well... I was wrong. I just... I want it _so bad_... that I fooled myself into thinkin' that it might actually happen. But sittin' here, with you, drinkin' this piss warm beer knock-off... it made me realise the truth. We'll never be friends. We can't be friends. It just wouldn't work. And as long as we're in each other's lives, neither of us will ever be able to move on. So we can work together to fight off these demons, but then that's it."

She throws her empty can away and turns to walk out.

_No._ I think. _No. This is not happening. This is _not_ happening._ I stand up, setting my half-full can on the ground beside me, and I storm up to her.

"I don't want to move on." I say forcefully, and I turn her back around just as she's opening the door, and I push her up against the door, slamming it closed again. I slam our lips together and kiss her with everything I've got. I can feel her tense up for a second, then she relaxes and moans into the kiss as her arms wrap around my waist, pulling me in closer, tighter. I pull away long enough to get a few words in. "No more innuendos. No more tiptoeing around the truth. No more keeping each other at an arm's length. No more meeting halfway. No more giving up because it can't happen. No more. I'm done with it. I'm not gonna meet you halfway anymore. I'm going _all the way_. I'm not keeping you at an arm's length, I'm pulling you in to me, and I'm keeping you there. I'm not giving up because you say it can't happen, we're going to _make_ it happen. Neither of us have ever been ones for playing by the rulebook, so I say we write our _own _damn rules."

We're both silent for a long time, pressed up against each other, breathing harshly. Finally, Faith is the one to break the silence.

"You know... it all looks good on paper, what you said, I mean... But... Paper doesn't carry any real substance, B. I need more than words."

"Then damn it, Faith, give me a _chance _to give you more than words! Give me a _chance_ to prove that I'm not running away this time! I can't prove anything to you if you won't give me a chance!"

Again, the uncomfortable silence. And again, Faith is the one to break it.

"You had plenty of chances, B. I'm not talkin' about back before you left. That was all just as much my fault as it was yours. But you've had five years of nothin' but chances to come back. I'm not givin' any more."

"Okay, fine then. If you won't give me a chance, then take a chance _yourself_! You've spent the last _five years_ looking for me so that you could have a chance with me, right? Well, you've found me, so _take your damned chance_!"

Faith looks at me in surprise for a long while, and once again, the uncomfortable silence falls over us. This time, though, neither of us breaks the silence. Instead, when Faith replies, she does so by nodding. Just one nod, one simple, barely noticeable nod. But it's enough. I surge forward and capture her lips again in a bruising kiss. And this time, she doesn't hesitate to kiss me back.

* * *

><p><strong> So, it's a very short chapter this time around, sorry about that. I just couldn't think of a better ending of this chapter. If you think I'm being too hasty in getting them together, don't worry, they've still got a bit of drama ahead of them. It's not official, yet. Also, for those of you who may be thinking "What happened to Buffy's friend in Dallas?", I'll be bringing her back into the story soon.<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10:

I wake up, sore, and I feel spent, but I feel relaxed at the same night. I know then that I haven't had a better night's sleep in five years. And why is that? My answer comes when I look over at the left side of my bed, and I see Faith laying next to me, still sound asleep. All her talk of he sexual prowess, and one night with me has her exhausted. She's laying on her stomach, but the sheets are gathered around her waist, so I can still see her soft skin.

Everything from last night comes back to me, and my breath hitches, my eyes closing as I remember it all. I remember what it felt like to finally be touching Faith _for real_, and the soft moans she was trying to stifle so no one else would hear us. I remember the sound of my name falling off her tongue. My _name_, not just my initial. I remember the smell of her sweat mingling with the scent of pure, unadulterated _sex_ in the air, creating an intoxicating smell that I am now addicted to.

It was so much better than when I fingered her in her car the other day, in the desert. Then, I'd just been doing her a favor. But now... Everything is different. And I swear, staring at her right now, sleeping, knowing that I've never seen her look so peaceful before, I know that I can't ever lose her again.

"Faith..." I whisper, so I don't wake her up. "I know you're asleep right now, so you can't hear me, but I need to tell you something. I need to promise you something. I'm not going to leave you again. I can't leave you again, because I can't lose you again. I'm not making that mistake again, because I've regretted it for the past five years, and I've learned from it. I love you, Faith." I finish my short monologue by placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Great speech, B, but it's too damn early to be makin' speeches." She mumbles, and I flush as I realise she was awake the whole time. "Go back to sleep, Blondie."

"I can't." I whisper. "I'm awake now. You can go back to sleep, though."

"Why? So ya can creep on me some more?" She jokes, and I smile.

"I like watching you sleep." I admit, and she returns my smile.

"You checkin' me out, huh?"

"Yes." I'm not ashamed to admit it. "Go back to sleep, Faith. When you wake up, we'll have some coffee, and we need to talk." She finally opens her eyes at that.

"Well, no way in hell I'm gonna get more sleep after you say that." She growls, on edge. I can feel her walls going up again, afraid that I'm going to leave already.

I nod. "I'm sorry. I actually wasn't trying to disturb you."

She rolls over and brings the sheets up to cover herself, showing that she's willing to have a serious conversation.

"Talk." She says simply.

I hesitate, unsure of how to broach this. Finally, I sigh, and I just ask her. "What... I mean... Where do we go from here?"

"What do ya mean?"

"I mean... where do we stand with each other? Are we... Are we friends again, are we just fuck buddies, are we girlfriends, are we... are we _acquaintances_?" I whisper that last word in fear of the answer I hope to _God _she doesn't give.

She looks at me, and I can tell she relaxes _some_, but not much.

"I... I, um... What do... What do _you_ want?" She asks, and I'm surprised at the answer. Or, rather, the question she asked to avoid answering mine.

"I want you to have what you want, Faith. I _want_ to be able to say I'm yours, and you're mine. I _want_ to say that we belong to each other. But I don't want you to just agree with me on this. If you don't want to really _be with me_, then... I want you to tell me what we are."

She answers me by kissing me. She holds the sheets to her chest with her left arm, but her right hand reaches around to pull me in for a hard, passionate kiss that leaves no room to wonder what she wants. She wants _me_. She wants me just as much as, if not more than, I want her.

When she pulls away finally, we're both breathing hard and grinning stupidly.

"Right... fuck buddies it is, then." I joke, and she pushes me so hard, I almost fall out of bed. "Kidding!" I shout out in protest.

We both laugh for a few minutes, until we end up laying down again, catching our breath, and I look over at her again to find her staring at me. The look in her eyes takes my breath away, it's full of nothing but adoration. Adoration and love. There's so much love in her eyes right now that it's almost like we've been dating, or maybe even _married_, for years.

I can't, nor do I even want to, stop myself from pulling myself closer to her and snuggling into her tight embrace, kissing her neck, then her jaw, then her cheek, then, finally, her lips. She returns the kiss instantly, sighing into my lips in content.

"Hey, B..." Faith mumbles, and I pull back to look her in the eyes. "There's a meetin' in about an hour and a half."

I groan, but she smiles.

"What I should have said is... we have a whole hour and a half before we have to be anywhere."

I smile back.

"That's definitely a better way of saying it."

"Thought you'd like that." She says as I lean in to kiss her again.

We spend the next two hours making love.

...

"You're late." Giles growls as Faith and I both walk into the conference room, both flushed and breathing hard. When I looked at the clock after about the fifth or sixth time Faith made me come, and realised we were already thirty minutes late, we had to hurry out of bed, throw our clothes on, and hope that our hair looked decent enough that no one would know what happened.

"Sorry, G. Ran into a group of newbies hashin' it out. Had to put a stop to it." Faith says instantly. It wasn't a lie, we really had run into a group of younger girls fighting, but that only took thirty seconds to resolve.

"And that dispute took you forty-five minutes to resolve?" Giles asked, unconvinced.

"Well, we also decided to take a road trip, ya know, see the sights. Grand Canyon's amazin' this time of year, G."

I snicker, as does almost everyone else in the road, but Giles just glares at her. So does Dawn, who, apparently, got back last night. She stares at me for a while before averting her gaze and turning back to the meeting.

"So... what'd we miss?" I ask awkwardly. Most of the faces in the room are faces I haven't seen in five years, or ever at all. I recognise Andrew, the annoying blonde nerdy guy who pretty much declared himself a member of our team after we captured him and held him hostage after he killed his best friend because a voice in his head told him to. Kennedy's also here, but she seems less than thrilled to see me.

There's another one of the Slayer girls that came to use as a Potential, one of the survivors of Battle: Sunnydale Hellmouth. I don't remember her name. The rest of them are all Slayers, other than Willow, Xander, Dawn and Giles, but I don't know any of them.

"S, fill us in?" Faith asks an Asian Slayer.

"S" looks at me and smiles slightly before turning to Faith. "Um, we've received information concerning several massing "armies" of demons that may match yours and Buffy's description, but no positives. We were just about to decide whether or not to send in anyone to spy on these possible threats to find any credible ones." She turns back to me and introduces herself. "Hi, I'm Satsu." She holds her hand out.

I take it. "Oh, hello. I'm-"

"Really beautiful." Satsu interrupts me. I recoil in surprise, and I can feel Faith tense up.

"Actually, I was going to say-"

"Buffy. Buffy Summers. Oldest Slayer still alive and activated. Single-handedly averted seven apocalypses, dying twice in the process. Engaged in a short-lived relationship with the vampire Angel, then a longer one, though still brief, with Initiative Agent Riley Finn. You seem to have bad luck with guys, have you ever thought of playing for the other team?" She asks, very straight-forward.

Faith steps in between us.

"Yeah, great, so you read the brochure, but don't even think about tryin' to take the tour, Satsu."

Everyone stares at Faith in surprise. Luckily, she's awesome at lying, so she recovers quickly.

"We don't have time for any flings or anythin' like that. Not with an army of demons on the way that Slayer dreams have already revealed are _going_ to win."

She says it so coolly and matter-of-factly that even _I_ believe her for a minute. Then, I wonder, what if she's actually being honest?

Satsu shrinks down into her seat, halfway frowning, halfway pouting. It's actually kind of cute, in an utterly annoying and "this-girl-just-came-onto-me" kind of way.

"So what's the game plan, G?" Faith asked, sitting down between me and Satsu, propping her feet up on the table.

I have to stifle a laugh. Everything... It's just so... _Faith!_ Other than the lovey-dovey stuff earlier, of course. That's the new Faith at work, but I love both Faith's, especially when she's getting possessive of me.

Giles sighs, but sits down again. "There are reports of seven possible threats to the Cleveland Hellmouth, though only four of them are of substantial enough size that we should concern ourselves with considering the information that yours and Buffy's shared portent has provided. The plan is to dispatch four teams of Slayers well trained in stealth and infiltration to gather as much information on each of the four threats as possible, then bring what they collect back here so we might determine the proper course of action at that point."

"So, strictly recon, huh?"

"Erm... yes. Our focus is solely on reconnaissance." Giles says slowly, cleaning his glasses.

"Who's on the teams?" I ask. Dawn is the only one who doesn't look at me, refusing to acknowledge my presence.

"Well... It has been proposed that you, Faith, Satsu and Kennedy will each be leading your own team of Slayers for reconnaissance, and that you choose the members of your own teams."

My heart drops. That means that Faith and I won't be working together.

But then, Faith saves the day.

"Why not just have one small team, G? I mean, smaller teams would be harder to detect, plus, if we started spyin' on all of them at the same time, might cause some kind of alert. I say we make up a team of, say, five or six Slayers, then hit each of these threats one at a time. We'll be quick about it, of course, 'cause time's wastin', but it would be better to get all the best Slayers on a team, anyway. Better suited to watch each other's backs and all."

Several heads nod in agreement, and even Giles has to admit that it makes sense.

"Let's put it to a vote then, shall we?" Giles asked. "All in favor of the previous arrangement, concerning four teams of Slayers?"

Andrew raises his hand, but I think it's because it was probably his idea. Dawn also agrees, as does Kennedy and Satsu, but no one else responds.

"Very well, all in favor of Faith's plan?" Faith and I both raise our hands, along with Giles, Xander, Willow, and the few other Slayers in the room who I've either never met or just don't remember. "Alright then, Faith. I want a list of the members of the reconnaissance squad by tomorrow morning."

"You got it, G." She says as everyone starts filing out of the room until only Willow, Xander, Giles, Faith and I are left.

"What really happened that made you so late?" Willow asks Faith and I quietly, so no one else hears. I look away, but Faith holds her gaze.

"What's it matter, Red?"

Willow gasps. "Oh my god! You... You didn't! No, you did...! Didn't you?" Willow looks confused, and Faith gives her a half-smirk. "You did!" Willow whisper-yells, and I look back and forth between them.

"Did what?" I ask.

"You." Faith answers simply. I flush as I realise what they were talking about.

"Oh..." I say softly.

Faith smiles slightly at me, and Willow is left speechless.

"Yeah, oh." Faith says as she not-so-subtly yawns and stretches, using the diversion to reach over and squeeze my ass.

I flinch in surprise but I don't pull away.

"So... wait... how did you...?" Willow asks, then glances over to me pointedly.

"What's with the low tone, Red?" Faith asks. "Not like we're actually tryin' ta hide it or anythin'." Then, she looks at me. "Unless we are. Not too clear on that front."

I sigh and hesitate before I answer. "Well... if... if you want them to know, then..."

"Not that I _want _them ta know, B. Just don't really wanna have ta hide it, is all."

"Okay then." I agree.

"Thank god." She says as she wraps her arm around my waist and pulls me down on her lap suddenly. I yelp in surprise, but then she kisses me, so the yelp turns to a sigh of contentment.

When we finally pull apart, I look around and see everyone gawking at us in astonishment.

"I... you... wha-... huh?!" Xander exclaims.

"Since when are _you_ a lesbian?" Dawn asks. At least she's acknowledging me.

"Pretty much since Faith." I say, and my sister quirks her eyebrow. "I mean since we first met Faith."

"Parker. Riley. Spike." Dawn lists each guy I've had sex with since Faith came to town. Angel doesn't count, because he was _PF_. Pre-Faith.

"Denial. Distraction. Desperation." I counter. "I slept with Parker because I was in denial about me being... you know, gay. Riley was just a distraction. By then, I'd accepted it, but thought I'd never have a chance with Faith. Especially with her in prison. Spike was... disgusting." Everyone murmurs their agreement. "I was just desperate to feel something... _anything_... Because I didn't feel human for a long while after I was brought back."

"But the whole time... Faith?" Xander asks, and I nod in response. "But then... well, this definitely explains Faith's reaction to Satsu just now. And your track record with guys."

I nod again. "Yeah."

"Why didn't you tell anyone, Buffy?" Willow asks me.

"I never saw the point. Faith was in prison right up until the First came around."

"Hey, about that..." Faith says then. "Why didn't ya ever come visit me? Woulda liked to see you." She asks, hurt.

I sigh. "It was too painful. I wanted to, but I knew it would be a bad idea. At least, I thought it would, anyway. I thought, if I went to see you, then I'd eventually end up telling you how I feel, and it would be out there, and that just... it scared me. That was before I knew you felt the same way, though."

Faith tightens her grip around me, and I smile into the embrace. I look at Giles, who hasn't said a word, and I frown when I can almost literally see the steam coming out of his ears.

"So..." He says, finally, glaring at Faith. "_This_... _This_ is why you went against orders and still pursued the search."

Faith lets me slide off her lap, and she stands up, staring him down.

"Better damn well believe it." She growls. "And if you're about to jump down my fuckin' throat, save it. 'Cause ya know what, G? I don't give a _damn_ what you think. So you just lay the hell offa me and B now, got it?"

"So, uh... When did, uh... when did this happen?" Xander asks Faith, motioning to both of us.

"Hung out in her room last night, drank some piece of shit beer-flavored knock-off-"

"Faith, you promised!" Willow protests. "I mean... AA!"

"Yeah, I know, Red, okay?" Faith sighs. "I mean, I haven't had anything remotely resembling alcohol in two years, other than a few nights ago, when I first found B. But... I needed it, okay. Not as in an addiction kinda way, I just really needed a drink. Even if it wasn't a real drink. Didn't go far. Just one non-alcoholic beer. Don't gotta worry, I'm not fallin' off the wagon or anythin'. It was just stress relief. Anyway, as I was sayin', we were hangin' out in her room last night, talkin', ended up arguin' again."

"And I convinced her to give me a chance." I finish.

"And I did." Faith agrees, then grins mischeivously. "How many chances did I give ya last night, B?"

The old me would have slapped her arm, or blushed and gotten all flustered and speechless. Instead, I play along. "Oh... I'd say... eight... nine... maybe ten chances. And how many did I make you regret giving me?"

"None of 'em. Absolutely none of 'em." She grins and kisses me again, leaving Dawn rolling her eyes, Giles still glaring angrily, and Willow and Xander gawking at us in astonishment.

"Who are you, and what the hell did you do to Buffy?" Xander asks. He asked me, but Faith can't resist the urge to answer instead.

"Faith, to answer the first question, and I did things to Buffy that even your pervish mind couldn't imagine." Faith grins. I snicker off to the side. Everyone's expressions basically remained the same, but now they're all a bit more extreme versions. "In all seriousness, though... Red, Dawn, ya both know how I've always felt about B. I'm crazy about her, so I'm takin' this shot. Just hope you guys are all okay with this, though, honestly, won't change a thing if you aren't."

"Hey, you wanna screw my sister, that's none of my business. Just dont be telling me about it." Dawn says shortly. I can tell Faith's had a bit of an influence on her.

"Hey, I'm not complaining about it or anything, I'm just... whoa... Never actually saw this coming." Xander says.

"I'm happy for both of you." Willow says sincerely, even offering a smile.

Faith and I grin at each of them, then at each other. Giles doesn't say a word, but neither of us really care. Because, like Faith said, we don't give a damn what he thinks.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, here's the long-awaited chapter 10! Sorry it's taking so long between updates on all of my stories. I'm caught up in a bunch of stuff going on in my life right now, so updates will probably be pretty far in between, but I am <em>not<em> abandoning my stories! Just keep checking back regularly, I'll try to keep updating steadily.**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11:

"So who do you think should be on this little recon. squad?" Faith asks me. I'm sitting on her lap, back in my room, and Willow and Kennedy are sitting across from us. Kennedy keeps glaring at me, but any time I look at her, she averts her gaze and looks anywhere but at me.

"I don't know." I admit after I catch Kennedy glaring at me again. "I don't know the new Slayers all that much. One thing's for sure, we'll need very skilled Slayers, so probably ones who've received the most training. But we'll also need to be stealthy, so definitely need Slayers who know how to be quiet, and may even be able to make a clean, silent kill. So, they'll need something akin to assassination training. Since we're more than likely not fighting a whole lot of vampires, they'll need more than just crossbow and stake training. More than likely swords or long knives. They'll also need to be able to take orders, and they'll need to be able to work well together, even if they've never met each other before. Advanced hand-to-hand combat training would definitely come in handy, too, because we'll probably be up against demons two to three times our size, and weapons may not be reliable, especially if we're disarmed."

"Well, that narrows it down to just a handful of Slayers, then. I'd say there's about five or six of us total who fit those requirements, and three of 'em are sittin' in this room." Faith says.

Kennedy, Faith and I all look around at each other.

"Well, how 'bout it, Ken?" I ask.

"Sure thing, _Buff_." She spits out at me.

I recoil, and both Willow and Faith glare at her.

"Seriously? What the hell's wrong with you?" Faith growls.

Kennedy stands up. "You two are both letting her off _way_ too easily." She shouts at Faith and Willow. Willow looks down and backs away from Kennedy nervously.

"The hell are you talkin' about?!"

"She _left_! Get it? She's been _gone_ for five years! She went _adios_! Entiendes? Comprendes? She left us all to fend for ourselves while she was off sipping margaritas on a beach in Florida!"

"I was in Texas... And there was only the occasional margarita, but no beaches." I correct. Somehow, I don't think that was the point, though, and Kennedy confirms that.

"That's not the point! My point is, you abandoned us, Blondie! You abandoned us all to fend for ourselves while you got to go live a normal life free of all this _hell_! We've been searching our asses off for five years for you! We even tried to find out if you'd been sucked into some dimensional portal thing or something! but you never once thought to just call and say "hi" to any of us! Okay, I could understand you never checking in with me, we barely knew each other, and I did kind of lead a Slayer's mutiny against you, but Willow?! Dawn?! Xander?! Giles?! Faith?! You left _them?!_ And without even so much as a post card to let them know you were even _alive_!

"My point is, you fucked up big time, Buffy. I've had to sit by and watch Willow and Dawn both cry themselves to sleep almost every night because they didn't know what the hell happened to their sister! I've had to watch Faith drive herself to the brink of insanity looking for you! I've watched the entire gang become nothing more than _shells_ of themselves because you left them! And then, just when most of them are starting to recover and become themselves again, you think you can just dance your way back into the fold and expect us all to fall in line?! You know, there at the end, just before you left, I was actually beginning to respect you. But you've long since lost my respect again over the past five years. And it's gonna take a lot more than "pretty please" and "I'm fucking your best friend" to even get me to _trust_ you again, let alone earn my _respect_. And Will, Faith, I'm sorry if that pisses you off, but that's the way it is. She pretty much _destroyed_ you guys before, and dammit, I'm not going to watch it happen again!" With that, Kennedy sat back down, her breathing the only sound filling the strained silence in the room.

"You're right."

Three very surprised heads turn towards me as I slump down on the couch, sliding off of Faith's lap.

"What?" Willow asked.

"She's right, Will." I say again. "I did fuck up. I fucked up majorly. And I know that I can say I regretted that decision very soon after I made it, and every day since, but the point is, I still made the decision, and I didn't do anything to correct it. And whether or not I regret it, it doesn't change the fact that I did it. So, to answer your question, Kennedy, no. No, I don't expect you or anyone else to just fall in line and follow my orders again. I don't expect you or anyone else to just forgive and forget the fact that I _did_ abandon you all five years ago. I don't even really expect you or anyone else to believe me when I say that I'm not going to do that again. But I do expect one thing from everyone. I do expect us all to set aside our differences and grudges for the sake of this upcoming mission. I expect us all to work together to get it done, and worry about me proving myself to you and everyone else _after_ we all come home alive. After we come back alive, I don't care what I have to do to prove to everyone that I'm here to stay.

"Can we at least agree to that, Kennedy? Can we agree that, for the sake of the mission, and for the sake of each Slayer that's participating in this mission, we set aside your grudge against me, and my guilt for leaving everyone, and work together to make sure we get everyone home safe and sound, and make sure the mission is a success?"

Faith and Willow both stare at Kennedy, waiting for her answer. Finally, the latina sighs and nods. "Yeah. For the sake of the mission, I'll work with you, Buffy. But don't mistake my cooperation for forgiveness. You've a long way to go before you earn that. Because it's not me you betrayed. It's Faith. It's Dawn. It's Xander and Giles. It's Willow. You hurt _them_. You hurt your _family_. And to me, that's far worse than you betraying me."

I nod in understanding, and I extend my hand as a peace offering. Kennedy takes it, squeezing harder than necessary to show her seriousness in her animosity towards me. What? I get bored sometimes, so I learn new words just so I can see other peoples' reactions to me using them.

I don't flinch in her extremely strong grip, showing her that I honestly didn't doubt her resolve to despise me until I manage to prove myself again.

"Alright..." I say when Kennedy and I separate. "So, we know that the three of us are on the reconnaissance squad. Who else?" I ask Faith.

"Hmm... Well... Satsu fits what you said pretty much to the "T". She's small and sneaky, so she's got the stealth down, she's skilled at combat, especially with a blade. And she's willin' to take orders. Plus, she doesn't really know ya, so she doesn't hold a grudge against ya."

"Satsu... that name sounds familiar." I say.

"She's the girl that was hittin' on ya earlier, sayin' if ya ever decide to try out for "Team Lesbo", to give her a call. Not knowin' that you're already taken."

"Oh." I frown.

"Yeah, about that, I gotta ask... _How_?" Kennedy asks. "I mean, from what I've heard, you two tried to kill each other, like, _constantly_."

Faith and I both frown. "Yeah, that's true." I admit. "But we're over that. The truth is, Faith and I have loved each other for a long, long time. I was just too stubborn to admit it, even to myself. Then, once I finally did, it was too late. Or, at least, I thought it was."

"So what happened?" Willow asks. "I mean, I know _what_ happened, but... how did it happen?"

"I begged her." Willow cringes, and Kennedy looks at me with wide eyes.

"What?" They both asked.

"Okay, I don't mean, like, _sexually_, though, yes, there was a bit of that, too. But no. I mean that I pretty much had to beg her to give me another chance. Finally, I ended up pointing out that she'd spent the last five years looking for me so she could have another shot with me, but then the second she's found me, she pretty much tucked tail and ran. I told her that, if she wouldn't do it for me, give me another chance, then to do it for herself, so the past five years wouldn't be wasted. So she could finally succeed with what she's been trying to do for half a decade." I finish speaking staring into Faith's eyes.

Faith quickly turns to Willow and Kennedy with a smile, and I find that I've ended up in her lap again.

"Logic's never been my thing, so I went ahead and let her win that one." Faith teased

"Well, I'm glad about that." I say, cuddling up even closer to her. Her arms tighten around me, leaving a smile spread wide across my face. "So, you really want to put... Salmon... on the team?"

"Satsu." Faith corrects, snickering. "And, hey, I may not like that she was puttin' the moves on my girl, but she's pretty damn skilled, and she'd be useful on this mission. Ken can attest to that."

Kennedy nods. "She's good."

"Alright, then we've got four members. How many were you thinking, Faith?"

"I'd say... probably about six or seven, actually. Need a small force, but not _too_ small. Somethin' that's not easy to pick up, but can take care of itself if it is."

"Alright, then we need two or three more squad members. Kennedy, you have any suggestions?"

"Well... There are a couple girls I did a mission with a while back." Kennedy begins.

...

"Hello, Buffy." I turn around to see the rest of our team. We're supposed to do training exercises together as a team to build our ability to function together and learn our roles in the group. So I know the names of four of the members, and now five, because apparently one of the girls that Kennedy went on a mission with... was Marian.

"Oh... hi, Marian... So, you're gonna be on the recon. squad, huh?" I ask.

"Looks like."

The other girl I don't recognise. She has short, spiky black hair, very, very dark skin, and almost black eyes.

"I'm Buffy, and you are?" I ask her.

"Niko." She replies. "My name's Niko."

"Well then, looks like the Avengers have assembled." Faith says, and Kennedy smirks at her reference. The rest of us look at them like they're insane.

"What?" Kennedy asks us.

"What's the Avengers?" I ask, and Faith puts her hand on her chest like she'd just been shot, even stumbling back a few steps.

"Come on, B. Tell me you've never heard of the Avengers."

"Take the dramatics down a notch." I say. "No, I haven't heard of the Avengers. What, are they some kind of band, or something?"

Kennedy gasps.

"Yeah, a band of the most awesome superheroes of all time!" Faith says. "You've got the Hulk, Spiderman, Thor, Iron Man, Captain America, Hawkeye, Black Widow, and _so_ many others! Other than the X-Men, the Avengers are, by far, the most bad assed group of superheroes in the comic book world!"

"Oh, come on, Justice League of America is way better than the Avengers!" Satsu protests, and Faith and Kennedy glare at her. If looks could kill, Satsu would be roasting in the hottest pit in Hell right now.

"Bullshit! Iron Man would totally kick Batman's ass!" Kennedy says.

"Yeah, because he's got those lazer things built into his suit!"

"Repulsors!" Kennedy corrects. Marian, Niko and I all sit down off to the side as we watch this battle of the nerds.

"Whatever! But Superman would _demolish_ Iron Man!"

"And Wolverine would _destroy_ Superman!" Faith fires back.

"Oh, that's bullshit. Superman is unstoppable by everything but Kryptonite."

"So Wolverine'll just throw some of that at him. But still, even without Kryptonite, Wolverine has an entire adamantium skeleton, plus superhuman regenerative abilities. Any damage Superman does to him will just heal instantly!"

"But Wolverine couldn't damage Superman at all without Kryptonite, plus Superman has Kryptonian endurance, which means Wolverine would tire out long before Superman!"

"Wolverine's adamantium claws can cut through anything, bitch." Kennedy growls. "Superman would never even see it coming."

"Superman's x-ray vision would tell him about Wolverine's adamantium skeleton, so he'd be wary enough to avoid it. Besides, remember, Superman's skin is impenetrable to anything but Kryptonite, and Wolverine doesn't have Kryptonite claws, he has _metal_ claws!"

"Not just metal, _adamantium_, which, again, can cut through anything! Superman may be the Man of Steel, but Wolverine's the man of adamantium. Wolverine would make Superman his bitch."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

"Buffy, behind you!" I hear Satsu shout, and I throw myself backwards, smashing into a vampire that had been trying to attack me from behind. I whip around and kick it in the gut, sending it flying backwards into one of its buddies. I frontflip over the head of another vamp and twist around as I hit the ground, impaling the vamp with my stake. I'm pounding on another one before the one I just staked has a chance to disintegrate.

"B! Here!" Faith shouts, and I toss my stake to her. She plucks it out of the air and stakes her vamp with it, only to toss the stake to Kennedy when she calls.

We're doing another teambuilding exercize, because Giles doesn't feel that we're comfortable enough working together to go scouting out demon camps yet. Basically, we have to do patrol tonight, but we're only allowed to have one stake, so we have to all work together to keep each other from dying when only one of us can have the stake at a time.

Niko has the stake now, and she quickly kills two vamps in rapid succession while yet another one scratches me with its claws. I wince, but I turn around in a circle quickly and plant a back-spin kick in his gut.

"Niko!" Kennedy calls, and Niko tosses the stake to her. Kennedy loses her opportunity when she has to reach for the stake, however, because Niko didn't get it close enough. I see the vamp recover and go for Kennedy's neck. She's not watching the vamp, she's got her eye on the stake. Everything happens in slow motion. My right crescent kick knocks my vamp to the ground, and I take advantage of his condition to turn and run towards Kennedy. I throw myself into overdrive and I put on every ounce of speed I can muster.

I know I'm not gonna get there fast enough, so I shout out loud, surprizing the vampire just long enough for me to catch up and throw my arms around his middle in a bone-crushing, body-jarring tackle worthy of the NFL. Kennedy doesn't get the memo, however, because the next thing I know, I feel the stake stabbing into my leg as I fly by her, taking the vamp with me. I scream out in pain and clutch at the area around my neck.

I see the vampire recover from my tackle, so I rip the stake out of my leg and drive it through his heart. Blood is pouring out of the hole in my leg, and I have to bite back screams of pain as tears flow freely from my eyes.

"Buffy!" Faith screams. She picks up the vamp she's fighting and slams him down on a sharp branch on a tree, dusting him, then suddenly appears at my side. "Fuck!" She curses as she puts pressure on my wound.

"Fuck, Buffy! I'm sorry!" Kennedy says as she drops to my side. Satsu, Niko and Marian all rush over as well. Luckily, there seems to be a lull in vampire activity right now.

"Come on, we need to get her back to Slayer HQ." Faith says as she picks me up and starts running for the exit of the cemetery, the rest of them right behind us.

...

"Willow!" Kennedy calls out as she and Faith carry me into Willow and Kennedy's shared room.

"What's up?" Willow asks from the kitchen.

"Buffy got hurt!"

Willow doesn't even bother running. She just teleports into the room as Faith sets me down on the couch. I roll my eyes.

"Take the dramatics down a notch, guys." I groan. "It's just my leg. Now, if it was my stomach, or my heart, or a lung, then we'd have something to worry about. But it's just my leg."

Willow chuckles.

"Really, it's no big deal." She agrees. "I can just have the muscles reattach themselves to each other, then heal the epidermis, and she'll be good as new."

"Then do it already." Faith growls.

Willow chuckles again and heals me. It hurts like a mother fucker, but once she's done, I stand up to show them that I'm alright. Faith pulls me in and holds me tight.

"You never know, she coulda severed an artery or somethin', ya might've bled out."

"Or I could have gotten an infection and died a horrible death that way." I add sarcastically. But Faith doesn't catch the sarcasm.

"Exactly! Any number of ways you coulda died, Buffy."

I push Faith away. "Faith, I have survived far worse than a stake to the leg. Need I remind you that I got my own stake through my stomach once? I've been drained to the point of passing out _twice_ by vampires, I've jumped off of a hundred-foot tower, been pummeled by a demonic cyborg, turned invisible by a sciency ray-gun type thing that would have turned me to slime if I'd stayed that way for long, pummeled numerous times by a hellgod, nearly eaten by a giant bug demon thing whose babies possessed my friends and mother, almost had the humanity literally burned out of my by a demon that no weapon forged could kill, placed under Dracula's thrall, and almost eaten by a giant worm demon. I think I can handle a stake in the leg."

"A stake?" Willow asks. "Then this was-"

"Friendly fire." I confirm. "It was an accident, though."

"But who-?"

"I did it." Kennedy answers, hanging her head in shame.

"You didn't notice me." I say. "I don't blame you."

"I do, though."

"Come on, Kennedy, it was an accident. It happens to everyone. I mean, I haven't told anyone but Faith this, but... I accidentally killed a human a while back."

"What?!" Willow shrieks, backing away.

"Willow, it was an accident. Just like when Faith killed Finch. It was an accident. I beat myself up over it for a long time, and I dealt."

Faith looks up at me. "Thought you said you still beat yourself up over it, B?"

I sigh. "Well, I mean, yeah, I still beat myself up about it, because, I mean, come on. I killed a human. But I do know that it was an accident, so his face doesn't haunt my dreams every night anymore. Some nights, yeah, but not _every _night. Kennedy, no one died, and my leg is fine now. Compared to some of the shit I've been through, this was nothing more than a flesh wound. It's not even going to scar."

"But still, if I'd been just a second faster I'd have staked the vamp before you-"

"No, if you'd been a second faster, you'd have gotten me in my back and punctured my heart or stomach. I'm glad you weren't a second faster, otherwise, we wouldn't have gotten back to Willow in time to heal me. Your strength has always been precision, not speed. Speed is my thing. Point is, I saved you, you didn't kill me, everyone's fine. We're Slayers, not gods. We're going to get hurt, we're going to make mistakes, and sometimes, those mistakes will cost lives. It's not good, it's really sad, but it's life. Without death, life wouldn't mean anything, what we do wouldn't mean anything. This time, no lives were lost, and that's good." Buffy put a hand on Kennedy's shoulder. "I know that we don't exactly always get along, and you pretty much hate me right now because I left five years ago, but I don't believe for a second that you stabbed me on purpose. It was an accident. Deal with it and move on."

Kennedy sighs and nods. "Okay." She agrees.

Faith stands up. "Look, Buffy, you can sugar coat it all ya want, but this is exactly why we're doin' these exercizes. If some shit like that happens when we're out on this mission or somethin', we're all dead. Every one of us knows it. Ken, you're a good fighter and all, but you know as much as I do that Buffy is the best Slayer we got. Not to mention, she was the last one to have the full power of the Slayer. That Kendra chick that came after Buffy only got half the power 'cause Buffy came back, and so I only got half of it, 'cause Buffy's got the other half. Buffy and me are the only two Slayers called by the normal way, everyone else is the result of some spell. Means Buffy and me are really the only true Slayers, so if one of us goes, we're in a bad spot, especially once we're ass deep in demons and vamps. You can't fuck up like this out there in the field. You do, and I'll kill you myself."

"You're just saying that. You wouldn't actually do it." Kennedy says. "Though, honestly, knowing how demons treat Slayers at their mercy, I think I'd actually prefer you to do it yourself."

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for the shortness of this chapter, but I just couldn't seem to get anything more to come out on it, so I guess this is kind of a filler chapter. Things'll pick up soon, though, if I can ever ditch this damned Writer's Block.<strong>


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